Last week, The Daily Mail ran an article called “Disgrace of the six drinking, pole-dancing primary school teachers who published the pictures on Facebook…Outrage after parent printed pictures and posted them through neighbors’ front doors.”

The photos show six women at a bachelorette in sexy army gear, drinking, smoking, and yes, pole dancing.  The teachers failed to make the photos private on Facebook.  A very motivated parent found the pictures online, printed them off, and put them the neighbors’ front doors with a letter which read:  “If you are as appalled as I am by these images which these tramps post freely for the world to see, how safe are our children?  Answer, not very! Children might be seeing these images.  What does this tell you about this school and how it is being run?  These women teach my children, but not for much longer.  I say remove the scum…”  The article goes to describe the parents’ reactions (“shocked”) and then to name four of the six teachers.

It goes without saying that the teachers made a mistake by making the pictures available for all to see on Facebook.  However, publicly shaming them for what amounts to a harmless, free play of pleasure frankly has all the makings of a modern day witch hunt.  These women have a right to enjoy their lives outside of their work environment.  You know what I find shocking?  That in the year 2011 we still label women who enjoy their sexuality as tramps without a second thought.  And that we feel comfortable publicly humiliating them and then quickly move on to worrying about the effect “these women” will have on the children.  I am far more worried about what kind of an effect such blatant narrow-mindedness and venom will have on the children.  There is this unspoken belief that if you are a woman who partakes in sensual, pleasure-oriented behavior in any type of public venue, then you lose your right to be treated with respect and dignity.  You are a fallen woman, a tramp, scum (unless you are a celebrity of course – then you are worshipped for this same behavior).  This belief exists to varying degrees in many different cultures around the world and it is at the heart of why so many people struggle with accepting expressions of female sensuality, including those found in pole dancing.

I am happy to say that it appears as though the school is standing by the teachers.  While they acknowledge that having the pictures circulated through a social networking site is regrettable, they also acknowledge that the photos were taken at a private event.  Additionally, the head of the school reportedly told the parents to “mind their own business”.   Now that’s more like it.

Why did you first start pole dancing? Why do you love it? Why do you continue to pole dance?

It’s easy to lose sight of the why as we progress. But every once in a while, you need to look around you and take stock of what you are continuing to get out of it. Is it still enriching your life? Or is it frustrating you? If pole has become stressful, or less enjoyable, in some way, think carefully about what has changed. Sometimes all you need is to tweak your outlook to enjoy it as much as you once did.

The very reason why pole is so addictive—the rush of nailing a new trick—can be a reason why we become frustrated. We all have our nemesis trick: the one that we just can’t seem to get, no matter how hard we try. Maybe it’s one that never quite feels right, one that makes you a little bit nervous because it doesn’t feel as secure as you think it could. Or maybe it’s the trick that you’ve been working to master for ages, but every time you try, it seems that you either don’t have the strength, or your body gets abducted by aliens and refuses to listen to you and engage where it should.

Here’s truth #1: Not every trick is appropriate, or easy, for every body.

I’m not talking about a lack of technique or strength. I am talking about physical limitations that your body imposes on YOU. I have a damaged right rotator cuff from years of improperly doing certain tricks. Because of that, twisted grip handsprings, and reverse grabs, are tricks that make my shoulder freak out. Every body is built differently. To avoid injury and damage, you need to pay attention to what your body is telling you.

When you experience an injury: think of what you were doing when you hurt yourself. Were you really ready (mentally and physically) to work on that trick? If so, was it is improper engagement or alignment that caused the damage? Could it have been avoided? If you heal, and work on the same trick in the same way, will an injury recur?

We’re doing serious physical work here people! Holding up your own body weight, sometimes upside down? Wrapping a breakable human form around an unyielding tube of metal? Suffering pole burn and severe discomfort? Don’t forget for a second what a difficult sport you’ve gotten yourself into. Be gracious with yourself: this is not, by any means, easy. There’s a reason why it takes so much time to achieve a high level of advanced pole dancing.

Some tricks will come more quickly to some and not to others. If you have long legs, then tricks that are very core intense, and are affected by weight and muscle distribution, will be more difficult than for someone built the other way around. If you have a very short torso, then tricks that require you to twist around the pole or arch in front of it (like a yogini, or ballerina) are going to be difficult because you simply have less space on your body to use as a point of contact. Part of getting better is learning which tricks work for you, and which ones look best on you.

Look at the bodies of some of the top pole dancers: generally, they are either built like an upside down triangle, with broad shoulders, or they are petite. Some are both. If you have your weight focused on the top half of your body, you will be lifting less weight in your legs. If you are small, your muscles don’t have to work as hard because there is less weight, and moving your limbs from point A to point B is a shorter line than for someone a foot taller.

Be kind to your body. With enough time and effort, you can gain enough flexibility and strength to achieve almost anything—but it may mean fighting the physiology you have, and may require hours and hours of time invested.

That brings us to truth #2: You need to evaluate how serious you are going to be about pole dancing.

I am fortunate enough to have a ridiculous number of world-class pole dancers with which to train, and take classes with. But I’ll tell you what: not a single one of them has a full time, 9-5 job. Because you know what? If you are at the top of your game, you are a not just a world-class pole dancer. You are a world-class athlete. You are carefully monitoring what goes into your body. You are training every day—and not just in pole, but strengthening and conditioning. The amount of time that some of these people spend in one day to further their craft, is equal to the time that some people spend in two weeks.

Malcolm Gladwell, the author of Blink and Outliers, has stated that the difference between superstars in any field, and the average Joe, can be boiled down to simply: 10,000 hours of practice. He states that on average, every successful musician, athlete, or entrepreneur has spent 3 hours a day, for 10 years, at their specialty. Obviously, to spend that much time at anything implies a great deal of guts, determination, and work ethic; but it also gives us a benchmark: according to Gladwell, it generally takes that much time to gain true expertise.

How many years have you been pole dancing? How many months? How many hours can you say that you have spent? How long have you been a physically active human being? I’ve never gone to the gym, or had any experience with any dance activity until I started poling in 2007. I know that for me, to catch up to someone who is world-class pole dancing caliber, will require a huge investment of time and resources. For me to even be a nationally known and recognized pole dancer, or place in a national competition, would be difficult.

Once you remove “being good enough to be famous” from the motivation equation, what is left?

Which brings us to truth #3: There is always going to be someone who started later than you did, who can do the trick you can’t.

It’s hard not to get discouraged when you see a less experienced dancer come up in the ranks and quickly surpass your abilities. It’s tough when it seems like everyone you’re friends with, or everyone in your class, is better or learning faster than you are. You may be an incredibly secure, self-confident person in every day life or even nearly all the time…but when faced with what everyone else is doing, or even what just one person is doing, you may find that you are doubting yourself or your abilities. It could mean feeling like you need to keep up with everyone else, or be left behind.

The problem for many of us? Is that there are only 24 hours in a day. And only so many dollars in our bank account. Sure, if we were all built of money, without work or families or school, we may be able to achieve more. It can get stressful trying to juggle everything you need to do, with the things that you want to do—including pole. For some of us, the way we are built means that it would take hours, upon hours, of intensive work to achieve a split. How much time are you willing to spend? How important is a split to you? What else could you rather do with your time? Once progress toward a goal becomes a chore, rather than an incentive, you should re-evaluate.

It also helps to remember that progress isn’t always linear or obvious to you. Just like your hair getting longer may only be apparent to someone who hasn’t seen you in months, sometimes the work you do in class to better yourself may seem frustratingly slow. But just because you don’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not there. And whether or not you feel it, or had a crap practice, the time that you spent will help you become better than you were yesterday.

You are only ever competing against yourself. You can’t judge yourself against any other person. Your body is not theirs; your experiences are not theirs. Who knows how much time they are spending in class, or how much background in movement that they may have? What if their body is a far more efficient builder of muscle than yours is? What if they are just innately coordinated or they have a special ability to understand spatial relationships? What if every experience in their life to this point has been to prepare them for an illustrious career in pole dancing??

We are all different people. The body you have, the life you have, is for you to what you can. Not to be better than the person sitting next to you. And if you find that someone is being competitive with you, or insecure around you, realize that is the way that they have chosen to use their energy. It doesn’t have to be the way that you use yours. Channel your insecurity into positivity: see the beauty in someone else. I am stunned when I watch my friends move: they are breathtaking, amazing, and strong. I am inspired by them. It fuels my desire to be a better me.

If you watch ten people do a basic fireman spin, they will all do it with different nuances: one may hold their head tilted, one may keep a leg straight, one may throw in a head toss. Pole dancing is not a checklist of tricks; it is about finding a way to express yourself, and your body. Whether you are on the ground, or on the pole, or on a lap dance chair, this is about connecting to a song or a movement in your own way. To judge what makes you special or unique is to take away from what you are as an individual, flaws and abilities and all. You do your best with the imperfect body that you have. That is all that you can do, and all you can ask of yourself.

Hi Kitties... if you already read my pole dancing blog (updated daily) where this entry was originally posted, this blog may have been familiar. I'll be writing more original content just for the Bad Kitty blog soon, but this is a piece that is truly near and dear to my heart and I wanted to share it with the Bad Kitty readers! If you liked what you read, you can click here to connect with me on Facebook.

Odds are, in the pole competitions that you're familiar with, you're not used to seeing sequined pasties. Or booty shaking. Or entire routines without a twisted grip iron X. And maybe, after reading that little list, you’re thinking: “So?” or, maybe, you’re thinking, “Yeah, and that’s too bad.”

What if winning ultimately had nothing to do with strength, or what tricks you put in your routine? What if you could only win by being the most entertaining? By putting on the best show for the audience? How would that change the performance you create and how you develop it?

Last year, I had the opportunity to participate in Polesque… which, on the face of it, is a competition. But it’s a competition where the only rule you are given is: tell a story in 3 minutes or less. Three judges (this year: Flying Laura, Allison Cox, and a lawyer named Ben who definitely does not pole dance) determine the top 3 (or 4, in case of a tie) contestants based on performance quality, creativity, and execution. And the winner is selected by audience applause after a dance battle. There are no bonus points for doing the hardest move. There are no expectations on the difficulty level of the routine.

I had a really interesting interview recently with Kyra Johannsen, one of the three producers of Polesque (Kyle McBeth and Jen James being the other two). This Sunday is their third iteration of Polesque at Galapagos Art Space in Brooklyn, and the only constant element of the show has been the venue itself, which is beautiful and dramatic. The space is cavernous and yet still intimate, with a ceiling that seems to float somewhere above you, just out of sight. Lush, red, round banquette seats are built on walkways floating above water. Dramatic, back-lit shelves of alcohol wrap the back walls where the bars are located, and a second floor balcony offers additional vantage points of the stage. The Galapagos space is well known for drawing a discerning, edgy crowd, and has a full roster of programming that runs the gamut from independent movie screenings to weekly burlesque shows that combine aerial arts, bawdy, and tawdry with a rotating talent pool.

I would characterize Polesque as a show where someone happens to be selected as the winner, and Kyra heartily agreed. Their goal in creating this competition was to showcase the creativity of the performers in a way that can appeal to everyone, from the pole dancing enthusiast, to the theatre-goer, to the person who likes to have some cocktails and watch a fun show. This was an idea inherent in their marketing strategy as well: promo flyers were dropped or mailed out to local bars, gyms, and dance studios as well as pole studios up and down the east coast. Surprisingly, I had a number of people come up to me after the last Polesque, saying that they had no idea that pole dance could be as diverse as what they had just seen on stage. Kyra and her team are doing what many of us are hoping to see more of: by treating pole dance as simply another dance modality, removing the requirements, and bringing it back to emphasizing the beauty of individual expression, they are making pole dance accessible, and interesting, for the masses.

What I most loved about being part of the show was that it gave me complete freedom to express a character in a way that was aimed at connecting to the audience, first and foremost– I dressed as a saucy human fly for goodness’ sakes (complete with bug eyes, big clear plastic wings, and a song to match). After my performance early in the lineup, I shouted myself hoarse watching and cheering for my fellow dancers (I was also moved to tears a couple times) from a spot up on the balcony—among them, a saucy fluffy-skirt stripping bad girl, a Dirty Diana, a silver-taped robot, a Bond woman who had a bubble gun, a drunken glass-smashing housewife ready for revenge, and a hip-hop routine with some choreographic nods to Michael Jackson. And when the curtain went down after the winner was announced, I didn’t feel the buzz of post-competition relief– I felt the growing euphoria of a cast member in a show that has just killed it, and wants to do it all over again.

Polesque this year will be an absolute treat for anyone who was able to snag a ticket (it’s unfortunately already sold out). Interspersed among the competitors’ pieces will be saucy burlesque numbers from some of the best in the biz (Nasty Canasta, Sapphire Jones, and Gogo Harder), as well as Kyra’s new non-profit aerial dance company, Aera, featuring some dancers that we’re all familiar with—Marlo, Steven Retchless, and Rebecca Starr. The two prior winners of Polesque, Rica de Ocampo and Michelle Stanek, will be performing as well, reprising some of the elements of their winning routines. The host is Allison Hagendorf,  a music media personality who currently hosts the Fuse Top 20 Countdown and authors a column for Maxim.com.

There are plans to look at larger venues for the next time around, since the show has clearly outgrown the 350-person capacity of Galapagos, and Kyra hopes that eventually, multiple Polesque events can be held across the country and maybe even overseas, to give pole dancers everywhere the opportunity to perform... and give audience members everywhere an opportunity to experience what pole dance can be.

If you miss Polesque, don’t worry- the producers have hired videographers and will be posting each and every routine online for those who can’t make it–myself, sadly, included. Stay tuned to the Polesque Facebook page for those links, and updates on the next show slated for fall of 2011. Start filming your submission videos!

To view videos of the last Polesque, click here or here. Michelle's winning piece from the first Polesque is available here.

Click here to connect with me on Facebook and here to link directly to my personal pole blog!

Photography credit: Thanks to LucidaFotos, Lily Liu!

My name is Amy. Nice to meet you!

Once upon a time, I started a pole dancing blog. I didn't know who would read it, or if anyone even would. All I knew was that after 4 years of pole dancing, I had a lot of thoughts to get out, and I was hoping that maybe someone out there could relate to or learn from what I've been through. Turns out, Bad Kitty was reading, and they offered me the amazing chance to blog on this site, and share some of my writing with their readers. Of course, I jumped, rattled, and rolled at the opportunity!

My own pole journey started shortly after graduating college, when I was dealing with the frightening slowing of my metabolism (combined with my first real-life desk job) and the realization that if I didn't start to do something, I would need to upgrade to a larger-sized wardrobe. I started taking regular pole dance classes on a whim and found pole dancing to be a means of staying in shape and re-connecting to a sensual side I didn't know I lost.

I met amazing, open-minded, gracious, and introspective people who have helped me grow as a person and challenge myself. And eventually, I met my abs-- long lost old friends that emerged from under a few layers of late-night-carb-loaded-dinners-- and biceps, and deltoids, and traps. But the introductions were hidden under the wonderful disguise of FUN... a workout so fun you don't realize that you're doing it! I'd never done anything athletic prior to pole dancing (except running a horrible 100m hurdle time, and playing not-so-great tennis in high school), but I was soon in the best shape of my life, and empassioned about this new type of movement that had brought so much positive change into my life.

Early in 2010, I was given an opportunity to teach pole dance, and while this had always been an eventual goal for me, I finally felt that I was ready. Since then, I have been introducing men and women in their 20's, 40's, and 60's to the joy that is dance-- and more specifically, pole dance. I have gone from student to teacher but in the process, I realized that I am learning more now, at the front of the class, than I did before. I am getting schooled in pole, and life, in a very different way that I appreciate deeply and am inspired to share.

I truly believe that all women are beautiful, that all hips are inherently sexy no matter what size, shape, or color, and that there is nothing more attractive than self-confidence that radiates from a healthy place within. Currently I live and work in Manhattan, managing construction 9-5 and flying weightless at night teaching pole classes at Shockra Studios. I am certified in CPR/AED with the Red Cross, group fitness through AFAA, and pole instruction through the X-Pole/Crunch X-Pert Pole Fitness program. I've performed in Polesque, the Great Midwest Showcase, and Pole Superstar. You can find my blog (updated daily) at http://aerialamy.com/blog/ and you can also connect with me on Facebook by clicking here.

I'm excited to start posting! Thanks to Jack, Claire, and everyone at the Bad Kitty Blog team for being so welcoming and kind.

I’m sitting outside at Le Pain Quotidien on Melrose, enjoying a salad and a mimosa.  It’s one of those perfect LA days – blue skies, palm trees rustling in a gentle breeze, flowers blooming everywhere.  Le Pain Quotidien is one of the few places in LA that has real French bread.  And because I have a French mother, I am acutely aware of what constitutes real French bread, and what amounts to a sad approximation of French bread.   Tearing into and chewing a slice of pain rustique at this place immediately transports me to my grandmother’s apartment circa 1986.  My brother and I were sent every morning to get the bread from the boulangerie on the corner.  It was sometimes still warm from the oven, and we could barely wait to get home and sit down to a breakfast of bread and butter dipped in hot chocolate.  These days I dip my bread into Earl Grey tea, but the taste and texture of the bread is still my favorite part of the ritual.

This afternoon reminds of a different vacation though.  One I took with my lover two years ago.  We spent hours eating bread dipped in olive oil and consuming vast quantities of white wine in the South of France.  We lay on the beach, we lay in bed, and we went out to eat almost every night.  There was this sense of deep pleasure and immediate connection with our surroundings.  We lived with the luxurious feeling that time, for all its constraints and demands, was irrelevant.  Except for the day we almost missed our train back to Paris.  But that’s another story!

My relationship to time is challenging.  So is everyone’s I suppose.  I frequently feel rushed, I have a hard time scheduling time for myself and I’m often overcommitted.  But I recognize, on days like today, that the ability to let go of time, to let the day unfold on its own, without commitments, without plans gives me tremendous pleasure.  Sensations, such as the sun warming the wood of the table underneath my hand, or the smell of my perfume as the breeze blows through my hair, become heightened and I appreciate and connect with what is around me so much more.  My desires, both physical and emotional, become clearer.  I feel deeply relaxed.

I wonder sometimes if America’s relationship to pleasure is tragically intertwined with their relationship to time.  We so often rush through our lives; we put emphasis on being productive and on accomplishing our goals.  From this perspective, pleasure becomes another thing to experience, or to do rather than arising from an internal sense of peace or relaxation.  Of course, there are many different ways to experience pleasure.  But how I feel today reminds me of how I feel in dance class these days: unrushed, delighted, alive, aroused, playful and….happy.  Wait, happy? Yes, the woman who spent three years stomping around class threatening to bite your head off and spit it out is now smiling seductively and joyfully while she dances.  Don’t get me wrong – I’m still a complete tease.  I’ll still fuck with you if you sit in the chair.  I’ll draw you in and push you away.  But I don’t want to kill you anymore.  Au contraire.  I want you to come play with me.  Take me for a walk.  Tell me what to do.

My teacher Sheila said to me this week, “You know Claire, we all know that badass thing is just a bunch of bullshit.  I mean it’s hot as hell, but it’s complete bullshit.  Your vulnerable moments are what really make me want to fuck you (she really does talk like that – it’s all metaphorical of course).  That moment where you slipped a little bit and almost fell over?  (She turns to the class) Didn’t you want to fuck her?” They did.

My own personal experience of my vulnerability while dancing is of course, quite different.  It’s a bit scary at first, but I feel a great deal more pleasure when I dance from a place of relaxed happiness.  Why relaxed happiness makes me feel vulnerable and scared is yet another story, but I will leave it at this: I’ve never felt like I can trust it for too long.  But I care a lot less these days when I make a mistake (aka “something goes wrong”).  I don’t try to “do” a trick; I just follow my body and improvise.  Don’t misunderstand me though - that angry in-your-face dancing has its place too, and sometimes I need to move that way.  But the amount of freedom I feel when I dance from a place of lazy, timeless pleasure, a place where I let go of expectations is like a mini-vacation to the South of France in and of itself.  And frankly, so is an afternoon at Le Pain Quotidien!

You know, if I weren’t in public right now I would probably open my legs wide on this bench I’m sitting on and drop my torso and head in to a lazy seated hip circle.  Oh well.  Instead I will settle for an ultra slow hair pull with both my hands and a lazy, sexy, happy, head roll.  A tout a l’heure mes cheries!