Here is something I don’t understand:  When I go to Yoga class, I do not show up late and I do not leave early.  Neither do any of the other students.   The same is true for any Dance class, Pilates class, Barre class and Muay Thai kickboxing class I have taken.   In fact, in my Muay Thai classes, new students are not only expected to show up early, they are encouraged to get involved at the gym and be of service.  I did not know this, of course, until I started reading the gym owner’s blog.  But it makes sense.  My brother has been studying and teaching Aikido for nearly 15 years, and as his sister I have not only been obliged to take Aikido, but indirectly been exposed to the culture of martial arts.  While traditions vary among different dojos, the approach to martial arts training is generally one of respect for the space, the teacher and the practice.  This is also true of yoga studios, which frequently offer classes in exchange for seva (or service).

But, in my experience, this is not as true of pole dance studios. And personally, I think that is a shame.  Not only do I think it is a shame, I think it does a disservice to students, the teachers and to the pole industry.  Maybe I’m old-fashioned.  Maybe I take my pole dancing a little too seriously.   But I think pole dancing is not just about you – it’s about the community a studio creates.  The classroom is a microcosm of this community.  If you consistently show up late to class you are effectively saying to your classmates and your teacher “I do not respect the rules you have set forth and I am continuously willing to disrupt your class time.”  That’s hardly an attitude that would be tolerated in a yoga studio or a dojo.  In fact, most studios (dance included) lock their doors once class starts, and the students know not to try to enter if they are late.  Even worse than the student who consistently shows up late is the one who complains when he or she is not admitted.  If we want to continue to move pole forward as a legitimate form of dance and artistic expression, then we need to begin to respect our classes in the same way we would respect any other class we take.

But truthfully, being late to class is not one of my biggest pet peeves.  Leaving class early, on the other hand, is.  Especially if it is a class where students take turns dancing at the end.   And that goes double if you are dropping in on a class that is not your home class (if that applies to your studio).  If everyone in the class supports you and stays through your dance, then you need to support them and stay through their dance.  It’s just polite.  Plan on being there for the full duration of your class.  If you can’t stay, then don’t come.

I’m going to say something that is probably controversial (surprise) but that I think it needs to be said:  There is an overdeveloped sense of entitlement in parts of the pole world – a kind of low-level narcissism in which things like respect for your teacher, your fellow dancers and a sense of service to the studio is missing.  Now, I realize that certain studios may contribute to this attitude by proclaiming that “It’s all about YOU YOU YOU!” and/or by charging exorbitant amounts of money for classes.  And I firmly believe that if you pay for a service, you are entitled to a positive experience.  But at the end of the day, you are a student.  You are there to learn, as is everyone else in the classroom.  So show respect for the rules of the studio and for your classmates and teachers.  Arrive on time.  Train hard.  Leave when class is over.  You will get more out of your classes this way, and you will make the classroom a more empowering and positive place for everyone – including yourself.

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Here is a recent headline in my favorite online paper, The Daily Mail.

Fitness studio's pole dancing classes for five-year-olds 'will make children more likely to end up in porn'

Really? First of all, since when does porn have an apostrophe after it?  It’s like the article was written by a five-year-old.  For those of you who want to read the article, click on the title.  For those of you who don’t, here is the low-down:  A child psychologist named Derek Swain has suggested that children who take pole dance classes will be more likely to join the sex industry later on in life.  His rationale? That there are “people out there” recruiting innocent girls into the sex industry, and if you already have “those skills” it would be an easy transition.

WHAT skills, Derek?  The owner of the pole studio doesn’t teach the five-year-old student how to grind, she teaches them how to be strong and athletic.  Of course, here is part of the problem:  No one outside the pole community understands that there are different types of pole dancing.  This is in part because we are new, and not necessarily doing a great job of defining what pole dancing is to the outside world.  One minute we are proclaiming our sexual empowerment on the pole, the next minute we are claiming it is strictly fitness.  In truth, it’s all of the above.

So who can blame people for being confused?

At the same time, Derek’s perceptions on how pole dancing ties into the sex industry are horribly misguided.  He assumes that pole dancing is always sexual, which it isn’t.  He also assumes that if a woman does explore her sexuality, she will automatically be more prone to considering sex work and stripping, which is also false.  He then assumes that if a woman does decide to join the ranks of sex workers, it is always because she is somehow a victim of predatory forces. Also untrue.  And finally, Derek completely overlooks the fact that women who pole dance report higher levels of self-confidence, happiness and overall feelings of well-being.

But Derek does provide us with several valuable lessons: First, it’s important for the pole community to continue to differentiate between the different types of pole dancing that exist.  Second, it’s important for pole dancers to continue to de-stigmatize expression of female sensuality and educate the public about the benefits of pole.  And third, the Daily Mail is a total rag.

Last month, I wrote a blog about how the state of Illinois passed a “skin tax” to help fund rape crisis centers.  If you missed it, you can read all about it here.  Briefly, the law taxes strip clubs for each customer that enters the club and sends the fund to rape crisis centers in order to make up for the slash in budgeting.  The Coalition Against Sexual Assault approached a senator in Illinois to sponsor the Bill.  A similar law was passed in Texas.

I don’t think I have to tell you how backwards it is for a group that combats sexual assault to be reinforcing one of the oldest justifications for sexual assault: She is a slut, and it’s because of women like her that men rape.  This argument is a basically a variation on “She was asking for it.”  In other words, men are not ultimately responsible for rape.  If they were at a strip club, well then the poor things were being teased and tortured and OF COURSE they would go out and rape someone.  Blame the dirty whores who danced for them.  And then tax the companies that are responsible for creating such a situation.  It’s ridiculous.  Feel free to read more of my rant in my previous blog.  This blog is call to action.

Recently I completed an assignment in a Policy class for my MSW that focused on The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA).  Perhaps some of you have seen this Act discussed in the news, and know that for the first time in 18 years, it has come under fire.  The Violence Against Women Act has been around for since 1994, and it was spearheaded by then-Senator Joe Biden.  What it has done is create a systematic, coordinated community response to domestic and sexual assault as well as implemented Federal laws against domestic assault, trafficking, stalking and date rape. Prior to the passage of VAWA, states handled domestic assault cases and this made it very easy for perpetrators to move from state to state without repercussions.  It also meant that victims had less protection – if they moved to a different state they were no longer safe.  VAWA also created sensitivity training programs for law enforcement officials so they could identify and be responsive to domestic and sexual assault and started the first nationwide domestic assault hotline.  Prior to the passage of VAWA, there were more animal rescue shelters in the country than women’s shelters.  How do you like that?  Basically this bill took domestic and sexual assault and changed the perception that is was a “private issue” between a man and a woman into the perception that is was a national problem that needed to be addressed – much the same way that child abuse laws helped changed views on parenting.  Additionally, VAWA allotted block grants to states to fund things like rape crisis centers.  The Reauthorization of VAWA has been stalled for almost a year now.  This means that organizations that had previously been receiving Federal money to fund their services are now no longer funded – organizations like the ones in Illinois.  Many centers are being forced cut their services.  Others are finding creative funding solutions – such as the skin tax laws passed in Illinois and Texas.

So why am I talking about this? What does this have to do with pole dancing?   Well here is the thing: As a result of Congress’ inability to agree on the terms of this Bill, funding has been cut.  As a result of this loss in funding, organizations that fight sexual assault are resorting to other creative means of funding.  In the case of Illinois and Texas it is the “skin tax”.  These rationale behind these creative means of funding fly directly in the face of what many of us stand for and believe in as pole dancers:  the right for any woman to express her sensuality freely and without persecution or danger.   Ironically, they also fly in the face of one of the primary arguments that sexual assault coalitions make: it is always the perpetrator who is responsible for the rape.   Interestingly enough there have been a number of conversations amongst political candidates about rape in the news recently – usually connected to the abortion debate.  I’m not going to touch that issue, but I will say that the idea that there is legitimate rape and illegitimate rape – and that men feel as thought they can define it for a woman - is odious to me.  And it is a sad reminder of just how much misogyny is the still the common sense of our culture.

One of the wonderful things about the latest version of VAWA is that it implements a program that works with men to help prevent rape and violence before it happens.  I was thrilled to learn this, because I think raising awareness in men and educating them is the key to truly eliminating domestic violence and sexual assault and changing some of the deep-seated cultural beliefs men and women hold when it comes to sexuality.

If, as pole dancers, we truly believe in female empowerment, then we should believe that empowerment is the birthright of every woman, and seek to protect it. And if we believe that part of our responsibility – indeed our mission – is to help redefine the way our culture views women and sensuality, and to advocate on behalf of any woman’s right to dance sensually without danger of persecution, then it is also our responsibility to speak out publicly when we see these rights being violated.  And it is our responsibility to take action and put pressure on our political leaders to make changes, and pass bills that will protect our bodies, and the bodies of our sisters, our friends, our wives and our daughters.  As a fellow pole dancer and woman I urge you, not for political reasons, but for the right of women to be protected and to be free, to take action and spread the word.

To take action and urge your congress member to Reauthorize VAWA go to www.opencongress.org

All it takes is an email address and a click.