There are so, so, so many grip aids, antiperspirants, and pole-dance specific moisturizers out on the market now that it can be really overwhelming to know which one is right for you, and which to spend your hard-earned money on. I see this question come up time and time again on forums and websites, and I see tons of people upset that they can't work on anything because they keep on sliding off their (@#$*@#$) pole. But the thing that people don't talk about enough, is that the grip aid you should use will depend on some specific conditions.

Another important note is that a warmed up pole is a sticky pole. If you aren't warming up your pole and your body, you will slide right off! And if you aren't warming up, you will be more prone to injuries, soreness, and you won't get as much out of your flexibility or muscles. If you're poling in a very cold or dry environment, you may need to apply grip aid because it's not possible to warm the pole up enough to get it truly sticky. Or sometimes, in a performance setting, you don't have the time or ability to control what the pole's condition is like before you get on it-- that's when you put on enough grip aid to be sure you don't slip. Otherwise, if you have an air conditioner, humidifier, space heater, or fan that you can use, try adjusting your environment. You'd be surprised: although a cool, dry room is ideal for physical exertion because it's comfortable, it's NOT ideal for poling! Moist skin, NOT dry papery skin, is sticky skin. You want a slightly moist room that is just cool and dry enough that you don't sweat too easily.

I know there are people who are for and against grip aids. I'm not going to get into the different arguments here, but I will say that my personal philosophy is that you should try to do as much pole work as you can without them. However, if you need the confidence of a grip aid for a new move, then fine. If you need it to stick to your brand new home pole, then go for it. And we all just have our slippy days. The important thing is that you try to avoid being mentally or physically dependent. And beyond that, we're all adults here and can make our own decisions. Pole is supposed to be fun, and as long as you wipe down the pole really well for whoever is coming after you, we should all be able to play nicely! = )

A few months ago, Bad Kitty sent me a sampler pack of all the grip aids that they sell on their website. Our intent was to test out all the different products and come up with some kind of buying guide that could help a pole dancer to select the grip aid that was right for them. But after months of testing, it has become very apparent that the right product for you completely depends on your poling environment, and skin, as well as a bunch of other variables-- which body part you are using it on, what you need it to do, what allergies you may have. What works for one person is very unlikely to work for another unless all these variables are the same, and different aids may work better for you depending on what you are using them for. I had students and friends of all different skin types, with different grip needs, test these under all the different conditions that I could think of-- it took quite a while!

So, I've put together this grip aid review to try to help. It is by no means exhaustive, but I've tried to summarize some key points in the chart below:

And now lets get into specifics:

• Dew Point: This is a lightweight spray that comes in three "tack" levels and is great for use all over the body. The easiest way to spread it on your legs is to spray lightly, then rub your legs together like a cricket. I covered Dew Point in a blog entry a while back, and it's really useful especially if you need to pole without being completely warmed up or if the pole is very cold. The spray has no fragrance and is oil-free. The ingredients are all natural: distilled blue solar water, vegetable glycerin, phenoxyethanol (a commonly used preservative) and caprylyl glycol.
• Mighty Grip: A tasteless, odorless, and colorless powder, less is more with Mighty Grip! To apply, tap a small amount into your hand and rub them together until your hands heat up- you need the product to get warm in order for it to get activated. You can lightly press your palms onto the pole or other parts of your body to spread. It is VERY tacky; I would recommend this product more for spin pole work and high-grip applications. I've heard some reports that it works with sweaty hands, but your mileage will vary.
• Dry Hands: This is a really popular product in the studios near me; it's a thick clear/whitish liquid that you can spread on your hands or any part of your body and let dry before you pole. It smells a little bit like alcohol but that's it. If you only sweat lightly, this can help to minimize slip but is not really appropriate for very heavy sweating or prolonged sweat control. It adds tack but can also dry out your hands and if you're using it on a static pole, the additional friction can increase any issues with blisters or calluses. The ingredients are alcohol, silica, methyl glycol, phenyl trimethicone, and cyclomethicone.
• iTac2: iTac2 is a beeswax-based natural product that comes with a rather strong vanilla scent and is available in different "tack" levels as well. You scoop a little out of the tub with the back of a fingernail, and spread it on your body and/or hands and then rub to heat and spread. Although some have reported success with it in very warm or humid conditions, I would be wary because it can "liquify" under heat and become less grippy very quickly.
• Tite Grip: This is a light orange, thick liquid that you spread on your palms (the color is meant to look skin-toned when it's applied) rubbing them together lightly until the product gets tacky; then let air dry. This is my holy grail for sweaty hands, and I have blogged about it before (I suggest applying it 30 mins prior to pole if you have truly sweaty hands), but it is an antiperspirant so it will not really add grip unless you layer another product over it. I have heard of success with putting it on the soles of feet for tricks that require grip there, but it's otherwise not appropriate for use on the body as it does not add tack. The ingredients are similar to many antiperspirants but for a full list, please see the manufacturer's website.

I'm planning to add to this chart in the future (for updates, check out my blog) with a bunch of products that I know other pole dancers use: Grrrip, Cramer's, rosin crystals, toothpaste, shaving cream, Liquid Grip, EcoBalls, Gorilla Gold, Platinum Grip, distilled white vinegar, Corn Husker's lotion... and feel free to let me know if I've left anything out! If you have found that your personal experience runs counter to any of the info presented here, or have questions, please let me know by contacting me on Facebook or on my blog-- I'm happy to hear your thoughts!

Disclaimer: I was not paid or compensated in any way for my reviews. If I didn't have anything nice to say, I wouldn't have said anything at all!

I was looking through a blog I kept from back in 2008 where I talked a bit about the pole classes I was taking. It was really a blast from the past, reading and remembering all the learning experiences I had in the studio, on the pole, and with the women who I built friendships with in class.

For most of my fledging pole career, I was with the same teacher and class for a very long time and there was a comfort in that. I knew them, they knew me; we all were aware of each other's abilities and challenges. There was a trust built there. And that rapport is what kept me coming back: there was a sense of familiarity. My teacher could gauge my progress and see what I had started with, how much I had learned. She knew what was difficult for me and what I was working on. She could give me things to try that were just challenging enough to push me without being discouraging.

When I eventually left that class and went exploring elsewhere, it was a real shock to the system. I got the sideways "who are you?" looks from other students in class. People taught me who never knew my name, and had no idea what I was working on. I didn't have any sense of continuity to my progress; I was taking drop-in classes everywhere and classes were so much larger than I was used to. I started feeling lost, and I didn't have an emotional anchor. I was surrounded by a dizzying sense of "new" all the time, and didn't have anyone who knew who I really was. I was frustrated that no one seemed to care.

It felt a little bit like the way it does when you start somewhere new-- a job, a move, a school. All you want is for someone who knows you to call you up for a coffee and to have a conversation where you can be relaxed and be yourself, because this person knows you for who you are. And how funny to be reminded of all these feelings, now that I am on the other side and my experiences as a teacher color how I interpret what I read in that old journal from just a few years ago.

I see a lot of professionalism in pole today. I see students referred to as "clients", and it's great that there is that business model in place. I think that for businesses to succeed, studio owners need to make sure that they are accountable for their bottom line. They should have marketing strategies in place, understand how to manage teachers, have a process for customer grievances and a support network for their staff. But in all this, teachers, owners, everyone-- we need to remember the student, and the person. Not just the "client."

I am a firm believer that everyone can enjoy pole dance. That it can be fun for all of us, no matter what our fitness level is going into it, how often we do it, or how little or how much improvement we see. That strong students, coordinated students, and flexible students should get just as much attention as those who are NOT strong. NOT coordinated. NOT flexible. That every student can walk away from class feeling accomplished, challenged, and fulfilled by the movement that they just spent hard-earned money and time on. That no matter whether or not someone is "serious" about training or competing, they should still get as much attention as everyone else.

I've said before that if you foster a respectful relationship with each student in your class, and give of your time to everyone equally without favoritism, then students will see that they don’t have to be “good,” or put pressure themselves, to have fun and feel worthwhile. And that kind of positivity spreads. A repeat student is not just a retained client. A repeat student is not just a supporter of your studio. A student is not just someone who is a generator for good reviews or publicity. As Lady Gaga said, sometimes you have to put your trophies away. You should never rest on our laurels as a teacher. No matter how tired you are, how much you may want to go home, how crappy of a day you had, or the fight you just had with whoever, you should still always try your best as an instructor. Because while it may be "just another class" for you to teach, that could be the one hour that student has to truly forget about their horrible day. And they're paying.

A student is a person, who is trying very hard to learn, and trying very hard to explore a genre of movement that is intimidating, scary, and difficult. And the support between teacher and student should always go both ways. As a teacher, you have a responsibility to ALL your students to encourage and cheer whether or not you see "commitment", "talent", or "ability". As a teacher, what right do you have to judge potential or effort from anyone?

Re-reading that blog entry was like remembering all the student insecurities that I have ever had and realizing that I can address them better now that I am able to make an impact in my student's lives, every time they walk into class. To try harder to make sure that every student leaves class with a smile on their face. To try harder to make these people feel good about themselves, challenge themselves, make them realize that they are more capable then they thought and they don't have to be perfect. Because, really, that's what I'm getting paid for.

If you'd like, you can connect with me on Facebook and find my pole blog here. Thanks for reading!

Not too long ago, I noticed a lot of pole dancers that I know (directly or through online networks) were expressing frustration and difficulty in carving out a niche for their own personal style. It seems once you get to a certain point in your pole journey, you spend a bunch of time figuring out what fits you best, and what kind of dancer you really want to be-- and that can be a daunting and intimidating process. I asked Michelle Stanek, as well as Natasha Wang and Amber Richards, for their feedback in how this process worked for them. All three of them are clearly renowned pole dancers (and interviews with Amber and Natasha will be posted soon!), but all three of them also have incredibly distinctive styles that they have worked really hard to develop over time. I was hoping that by posting these ladies' experiences, it could be inspiring or helpful for some of you out there!

Today's entry is a guest blog by Michelle Stanek who has awesomely taken time out of her insane schedule to write for y'all! So thank you, Michelle =) She's an immensely talented pole dancer: Pole Drama Winner at EMW Polarity 2010, USPDF Amateur Champion 2011, Pole Dance Universe Champion 2011, and she will be competing in the highly prestigious Pole Art in Finland in October. And she just so happens to teach at the same studio that I do. But,  she's also a really good friend with a fabulous sense of humor, and she's followed a really interesting path to become the pole dancer that she is today. Currently, Michelle lives in NYC, is an X-pert master trainer and teaches at Crunch, Shockra and Body  & Pole, where she trains as well.

So, without more ado, I present to you: Michelle's take on personal style.

As the dust and glitter of USPDF and Pole Dance Universe settles, several people have asked me about my style of pole dance and how it developed to what it is today, or at least the style I have presented in both the PFA's Polarity and USPDF competitions. Two years ago when I did my first pole performance/competition, Polesque, I described myself as "Sassy McNasty VonMelty." Now my style has been described as a blend of ballet, modern, grace and aggression. And if I am pole dancing, God willing, in four more years, I'm sure it will develop into something new as I grow as a dancer, artist and person.

When I started pole dancing four years ago at Crunch Gym I would go for an hour class after work on Friday nights. No one knew much in terms of difficult moves or technique and all we really needed were our teeny shorts, stilettos, club music, hair whipping, booty popping and a pole anyway! We just had FUN. I met my best friends in this class. Afterwards, we would go out for margaritas and start a fun-filled New York City weekend. I remember thinking, how COOL is this? I am an art history professor and a program curator who knows how to work a pole like a stripper...but i'm not a stripper! It made me feel strong, sexy and mysterious! That was the attraction of pole dancing at first. And that is what made me come back to class one, two, then three times a week. Who walks around being super sassy and sexy all the time? No one! So this hour was my hour to unleash my inner diva in a room of supportive, diverse, fun women and friends. After about two years, that novelty did wear off when I began to progress in strength and skill. I saw that there can be so much more variety in they way I could pole dance. And maybe dancing like a stripper wasn't what I wanted to do *all* the time. I wanted to explore and revisit my dance background and bring that to the pole.

I have a classical and modern dance background. By age 13 I was pretty ensconced in the ballet world and had amazing opportunities to perform, travel and study with some of the best teachers available to a teenager in Pennsylvania. Around 17 I discovered modern dance and focused on that, in addition to art history and business, in college, where I was also lucky to work with incredible contemporary choreographers. When I was 30 and two years into pole dancing, I realized that I could really utilize my extension, flexibility, grace and dance background on the pole. After a few years away from dance, a broken foot and the decision to "get a real job," pole reignited my deeply ingrained passion for dance. I got back into modern dance classes at Peridance, Dance New Amsterdam and Broadway Dance Center. Taking those dance classes and being free from the binding pole felt amazing. And it really helped to expand my movement vocabulary beyond the standard pole dance floor work and typical sexy flows. And instead of watching so many pole videos on YouTube I started to watch a lot more videos of my favorite teachers, choreographers and dance companies like Slam, TOKYO, Calen Kurka, Cedar Lake Contemporary Ballet and others for inspiration and ideas. I even recalled a lot of old choreography I did years ago. I started to dance to music that was more lyrical or classical or obscure to help influence new movement. This resulted in a lot of trial and error, epic fails, very weird and ineffective movement, creative blocks and confusion of styles. I had freestyles where I was a hot mess and nothing I did looked good, felt good or made sense to the eye! Like the simple flexed foot can be incredibly effective if used in a meaningful way. If it's just a superficial flexed foot for flexed-foot-weirdness-sake (?!) it's distracting from the fluidity of lines. That's a minute detail but a world of difference.

Although personal style is important and feels good when you find it, versatility is important too.  It's important to show that you are not just a one-trick pony and as a dancer and artist, you can perform in different styles. Although I struggled with USPDF's mandatory 5-inch minimum heel requirement (we fight to be taken seriously as athletes and fight to shed the image of pole dance in seedy clubs as strippers...yet we are forced to maintain that connection through what you cannot deny are "stripper" shoes), I appreciated the opportunity to be obviously sexy and serve up the sass for round 1 and then take the shoes off and get back to my modern roots for round 2. The innate sensuality of pole dance that initially reeled me in is still a huge reason why I enjoy it so much. But taking off the shoes presents me with the opportunity to be unusually and not so obviously fierce and sexy. And that's the kind of sexy I like.

Finding your own style is difficult. It can take years. In college and graduate school (I have my BA and MA in art history) I hated the word "derivative." People over-used this word for lack of a better one to say that a particular artists' work reminds them too much of another artists' work who came before them, as if they were just copying their style, and should be dismissed as uncreative copycats. No one wants to be an uncreative, derivative copycat! These are also called trends, people. They define artistic genres all the time. That's why textbooks have chapters called "Abstract Expressionism" and "Surrealism" and "Neo-classicism." Sorry...this is tangential. When you are just starting out, and most of us are considering how young pole dance is, it's ok to find a style you like that you see out there. But find things from your own life to incorporate into your dance. I have a friend who is a brilliant choreographer who will always incorporate the spelling of her husband's name, Max, into her work, like YMCA! in hidden ways. But it's always there. And it's special and unique. Spend time alone on the pole to explore. Lose the shoes. Put them back on. Turn the lights off and forget about the mirror. Close your eyes. Then inspect every detail of your movement in the mirror and see what a difference a slight angle in the tilt of your head can make. Dance to Bach then Lil Wayne then Adele. Take other dance classes. Experiment. Fail. Laugh. Grow.

Thanks for reading, Bad Kitties! If you enjoyed this blog, stay tuned for Natasha and Amber's perspectives coming soon!

If you'd like, you can connect with me on Facebook and find my pole blog here.

I’ve talked a little bit on my Aerial Amy blog about how the circus bug has bitten my group of girlfriends. One has always astonished us with her completely fearless pole drops and she has, not surprisingly, found herself hooked on the much more dramatic and higher drops that are possible in silks. Two friends are lost to flying trapeze: one, for the love of the weightless swing, and another because of the freedom, relaxation, and breath that comes from flying.

A conversation with another close friend, who has been bitten by the silks bug as well, made me realize that for me, yes, part of my romance with the lyra is the new environment. I love the accepting and supportive students and teachers at the circus school I go to—the teachers in particular are amazing at isolating what you are doing wrong. I feel myself getting stronger and using different muscles, and smoothing out transitions between tricks. I can see the progress and I now have a nice little repertoire of tricks that I can put together in flows. And my pole experience definitely helps—some of the tricks are taken right from pole, and some of the points of contact from pole (inside of elbow, backs of knees) have already been toughened up and are ready to rock on the lyra.

But one of the biggest reasons I love it? In my lyra classes, I’m the newcomer. I can walk into a lyra class and no one has any expectations of me, and I don’t have any of myself. I don’t have to worry about looking stupid, or being judged, or more importantly: Me judging me. There is no pressure. And I don’t know anyone else in the classes—there is no one to compare myself to, no one that I pressure myself to keep up with. Lyra is mine. It’s something that I do, largely on my own, and as I improve and get better, I find that I really allow myself to celebrate the small victories (like back when I was just beginning to pole) all over again. I love reacquainting myself with this delicious beginning, fumbling, learning. I don’t need to get good enough to perform. I just enjoying doing it because it is something I am doing for myself. In a lyra class, I can really be myself again: Amy, the learner.

I think that the pole community is great. It connects us in so many ways. But nowadays, I hear so many beginners despair that they are not learning “fast enough” or “keeping up” with their classmates or people that they see in videos online. There is so much of the urge to compare yourself against others and when there have been thousands of people who have come before you, it’s hard to pick your own route when the path has already been so well travelled.

I think I was a little lucky in a sense: in 2007, when I started, there was no way to compare myself to anyone else except the women in my small class. So much of what made pole fun for me was enjoying the journey. I didn’t have a goal that I was shooting towards. I didn’t have an end game, or even a real role model besides my teacher I suppose. Tricks were never really emphasized in my classes as much as fluidity and self expression so I don’t think I saw “improvement” quite the same way that women do now, with the many checklists of tricks that so many seem to have (and a lot of these tricks weren’t even around when I first started!).

The first USPDF in 2009 blew my world wide open with what pole could be, and every year so much expands and grows in our pole community. But, hand in hand with the increased resources that experienced polers now have, is the increased intimidation that beginners can see in front of them every day. Now, a lot of people seem to see the beginning stages and intermediate stages of pole work as things that they just need to get through before they get “really good” and can compete or perform. I hear people ask all the time about how to get their splits as quickly as possible. Beginning polers are embarrassed that they are just starting, or “not that good”.

I’d like to see all of us, maybe, remind ourselves of the fun of challenging ourselves on the pole. I’ve talked about reveling in the strength, weakness, abilities, and limitations of your own body. But I think we also need to remember to enjoy to learn. To take this process for ourselves. I’ve been going back to beginner and intermediate classes a little more to remember what it feels like to be at that level again, to inspire myself for my students, and to work on regaining the strength and coordination that I lost on my left side after my injury. I see so much insecurity and nervousness around me. I wish I saw more people truly having fun and enjoying themselves. Instead I see a lot of comparison to others. Standing and watching. Which is okay. But at some point, awareness of what is possible can become dwelling on what you can't do. Forget what other people are doing and focus on yourself.

Let’s take pole back. Make it yours. Be selfish. Do it for you.

If you enjoyed this blog, you can also connect with me on Facebook! Click here to check it out =) You can also subscribe and get the daily updates from Aerial Amy delivered straight to your inbox by clicking here.

In the past few years, a lot of pole studios have opened up—meaning that more and more, qualified and experienced instructors are in pretty high demand. Quite a few established pole dance studios have their own instructor training program. Some include pole move instruction. Some focus on showing you how to teach and assume that you have basic knowledge of pole dance already. Some include information on opening and managing your own studio. The cost can range from several hundred to several thousand dollars and the in-class time can range from a week to a weekend. Some have been reviewed by larger fitness organizations, like ACE or AFAA, and by taking the instructor training program you will earn continuing education credits to apply towards renewing your AFAA/ACE group fitness certification.

I think that for anyone navigating the plethora of choice out there, it can definitely be overwhelming. There isn’t yet a program that has emerged nation-wide as a clear and accepted standard across the industry, and it can be a significant investment of time, energy, and money to take any of these certifications, especially if you need to include traveling expenses. Think carefully about what you are hoping to gain. What skills will you be strengthening? Who is the lead trainer for the program, and what are their philosophies on teaching? Do you know anyone who has taken this program, and can give you feedback?

Of course, the secondary question is: If you don’t already teach somewhere, and are hoping to begin, why do you want to teach? Is this truly your passion or a way to pay the bills? There's a lot at stake when you are a teacher. You are responsible for getting students excited about pole dancing. You are their gateway to this world that we all love so much. A bad teacher can create an unsafe environment where injuries occur regularly, or discourage a student from further study. Being a teacher isn't about you. It's about your students.

I've only been a teacher for about a year and a half, but I will say that I have been a student for a long while. I think that was really critical in my own development because it enabled me to come up with pretty specific ideas on what kind of teacher I wanted to be.

When I was planning out my transition to teaching, I decided that the first thing I should do was to take as many classes as possible, in as many studios and types of movement as possible, to learn more about how others teach. I took class in every pole studio in NYC with as many different people as I could, went to all the major dance studios and circus schools, and took pilates and yoga classes up the wazoo. I learned a ton about different verbal and nonverbal cues, warmup exercises, and different ways to apply and explain a correction. It was also invaluable to see the ways that the teacher controlled the class, kept up the energy level, and encouraged camaraderie and friendship within a group… or failed to do so. I quickly realized that half of being a good teacher is actual instruction, but the other half is managing people.

Instructing well is relatively straight forward. Being a good student or amazing pole dancer does not mean that you have the skills to be a good teacher. Learning how to break down a trick or troubleshoot exactly what a student is doing wrong takes experience and a different mindset than being a student– and is something that you get better at with time. It took me years before I felt comfortable with that ability with my own pole classmates, nevermind a paying student! You need to be able to completely step into someone else’s brain to understand how they learn and figure out how to translate your teaching into their language. Some people need to know exactly what muscle is engaging, some need to watch you do it a few times, some need to just try it over and over again and have you correct them until they get it right. When you teach, you have to completely let go of your ego and assume: “if this student does not understand, it’s because I’ve done something wrong in teaching. I may not be explaining well enough, or pacing the class incorrectly, or introducing skills that my students aren’t ready for yet.”

Learning to manage the personalities and energy in a class is really difficult, and just as I’m learning more about the technical side of instructing every day, I’m still learning this aspect of teaching as well. I think that students can clearly see passion, joy, and enthusiasm, and they will reflect it back to you if that’s what you’re putting out. If you are happy to be there, then students will feel it and appreciate your energy. If you hear a student being self-defeatist, or negative and down on themselves, and you nip it in the bud with honesty, empathy, and encouragement that comes from a genuine place, then you will help plant seeds of self-confidence. You have a lot of power as a teacher, and if you don’t have pure intentions, or are motivated by any kind of selfishness, you are doing a disservice to the students who pay money to spend time with you. If you foster a respectful relationship with each student in your class, and give of your time to everyone equally without favoritism, then students will see that they don’t have to be “good,” or put pressure themselves, to have fun and feel worthwhile. And that kind of positivity spreads.

I think that to be a good teacher, you have to actually like and enjoy teaching others. I think you should think carefully about why you want to teach, because if you’re not excited about it for the right reasons, then you are putting your students in harm’s way by not being as conscientious and serious about teaching as possible. Some people see teaching as the “next step” in a typical pole journey– once you get “good enough”, you teach. It’s not. Teaching isn’t for everyone, and you lose time to work on your own progression as a student. It’s a sacrifice, and the inherent reward of teaching needs to be enough.

The turning point for me—when I really and truly felt like a teacher—was after I got my CPR/AED certification. There was a moment at the end of the class, after we put away the breathing dummies and got our exam booklets and had our #2 pencils poised. The lead instructor said something along the lines of: “you may or may not pass your written test. If you do, and you get the certification card, and you carry it in your wallet, you know you have the choice to help when you see someone who needs it. But taking this course gives you responsibility: if you pass that person by, who else may be able to really help them?”

Being a good instructor and a responsible human being is a choice you make every day. You are in a position to help people as much as you are mentally and physically able: how seriously will you take that?

This is a slightly edited version of an entry that originally ran on my Aerial Amy blog. If you liked what you read, you can connect with me on Facebook or check out my pole dance blog, which is updated daily!

Why did you first start pole dancing? Why do you love it? Why do you continue to pole dance?

It’s easy to lose sight of the why as we progress. But every once in a while, you need to look around you and take stock of what you are continuing to get out of it. Is it still enriching your life? Or is it frustrating you? If pole has become stressful, or less enjoyable, in some way, think carefully about what has changed. Sometimes all you need is to tweak your outlook to enjoy it as much as you once did.

The very reason why pole is so addictive—the rush of nailing a new trick—can be a reason why we become frustrated. We all have our nemesis trick: the one that we just can’t seem to get, no matter how hard we try. Maybe it’s one that never quite feels right, one that makes you a little bit nervous because it doesn’t feel as secure as you think it could. Or maybe it’s the trick that you’ve been working to master for ages, but every time you try, it seems that you either don’t have the strength, or your body gets abducted by aliens and refuses to listen to you and engage where it should.

Here’s truth #1: Not every trick is appropriate, or easy, for every body.

I’m not talking about a lack of technique or strength. I am talking about physical limitations that your body imposes on YOU. I have a damaged right rotator cuff from years of improperly doing certain tricks. Because of that, twisted grip handsprings, and reverse grabs, are tricks that make my shoulder freak out. Every body is built differently. To avoid injury and damage, you need to pay attention to what your body is telling you.

When you experience an injury: think of what you were doing when you hurt yourself. Were you really ready (mentally and physically) to work on that trick? If so, was it is improper engagement or alignment that caused the damage? Could it have been avoided? If you heal, and work on the same trick in the same way, will an injury recur?

We’re doing serious physical work here people! Holding up your own body weight, sometimes upside down? Wrapping a breakable human form around an unyielding tube of metal? Suffering pole burn and severe discomfort? Don’t forget for a second what a difficult sport you’ve gotten yourself into. Be gracious with yourself: this is not, by any means, easy. There’s a reason why it takes so much time to achieve a high level of advanced pole dancing.

Some tricks will come more quickly to some and not to others. If you have long legs, then tricks that are very core intense, and are affected by weight and muscle distribution, will be more difficult than for someone built the other way around. If you have a very short torso, then tricks that require you to twist around the pole or arch in front of it (like a yogini, or ballerina) are going to be difficult because you simply have less space on your body to use as a point of contact. Part of getting better is learning which tricks work for you, and which ones look best on you.

Look at the bodies of some of the top pole dancers: generally, they are either built like an upside down triangle, with broad shoulders, or they are petite. Some are both. If you have your weight focused on the top half of your body, you will be lifting less weight in your legs. If you are small, your muscles don’t have to work as hard because there is less weight, and moving your limbs from point A to point B is a shorter line than for someone a foot taller.

Be kind to your body. With enough time and effort, you can gain enough flexibility and strength to achieve almost anything—but it may mean fighting the physiology you have, and may require hours and hours of time invested.

That brings us to truth #2: You need to evaluate how serious you are going to be about pole dancing.

I am fortunate enough to have a ridiculous number of world-class pole dancers with which to train, and take classes with. But I’ll tell you what: not a single one of them has a full time, 9-5 job. Because you know what? If you are at the top of your game, you are a not just a world-class pole dancer. You are a world-class athlete. You are carefully monitoring what goes into your body. You are training every day—and not just in pole, but strengthening and conditioning. The amount of time that some of these people spend in one day to further their craft, is equal to the time that some people spend in two weeks.

Malcolm Gladwell, the author of Blink and Outliers, has stated that the difference between superstars in any field, and the average Joe, can be boiled down to simply: 10,000 hours of practice. He states that on average, every successful musician, athlete, or entrepreneur has spent 3 hours a day, for 10 years, at their specialty. Obviously, to spend that much time at anything implies a great deal of guts, determination, and work ethic; but it also gives us a benchmark: according to Gladwell, it generally takes that much time to gain true expertise.

How many years have you been pole dancing? How many months? How many hours can you say that you have spent? How long have you been a physically active human being? I’ve never gone to the gym, or had any experience with any dance activity until I started poling in 2007. I know that for me, to catch up to someone who is world-class pole dancing caliber, will require a huge investment of time and resources. For me to even be a nationally known and recognized pole dancer, or place in a national competition, would be difficult.

Once you remove “being good enough to be famous” from the motivation equation, what is left?

Which brings us to truth #3: There is always going to be someone who started later than you did, who can do the trick you can’t.

It’s hard not to get discouraged when you see a less experienced dancer come up in the ranks and quickly surpass your abilities. It’s tough when it seems like everyone you’re friends with, or everyone in your class, is better or learning faster than you are. You may be an incredibly secure, self-confident person in every day life or even nearly all the time…but when faced with what everyone else is doing, or even what just one person is doing, you may find that you are doubting yourself or your abilities. It could mean feeling like you need to keep up with everyone else, or be left behind.

The problem for many of us? Is that there are only 24 hours in a day. And only so many dollars in our bank account. Sure, if we were all built of money, without work or families or school, we may be able to achieve more. It can get stressful trying to juggle everything you need to do, with the things that you want to do—including pole. For some of us, the way we are built means that it would take hours, upon hours, of intensive work to achieve a split. How much time are you willing to spend? How important is a split to you? What else could you rather do with your time? Once progress toward a goal becomes a chore, rather than an incentive, you should re-evaluate.

It also helps to remember that progress isn’t always linear or obvious to you. Just like your hair getting longer may only be apparent to someone who hasn’t seen you in months, sometimes the work you do in class to better yourself may seem frustratingly slow. But just because you don’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not there. And whether or not you feel it, or had a crap practice, the time that you spent will help you become better than you were yesterday.

You are only ever competing against yourself. You can’t judge yourself against any other person. Your body is not theirs; your experiences are not theirs. Who knows how much time they are spending in class, or how much background in movement that they may have? What if their body is a far more efficient builder of muscle than yours is? What if they are just innately coordinated or they have a special ability to understand spatial relationships? What if every experience in their life to this point has been to prepare them for an illustrious career in pole dancing??

We are all different people. The body you have, the life you have, is for you to what you can. Not to be better than the person sitting next to you. And if you find that someone is being competitive with you, or insecure around you, realize that is the way that they have chosen to use their energy. It doesn’t have to be the way that you use yours. Channel your insecurity into positivity: see the beauty in someone else. I am stunned when I watch my friends move: they are breathtaking, amazing, and strong. I am inspired by them. It fuels my desire to be a better me.

If you watch ten people do a basic fireman spin, they will all do it with different nuances: one may hold their head tilted, one may keep a leg straight, one may throw in a head toss. Pole dancing is not a checklist of tricks; it is about finding a way to express yourself, and your body. Whether you are on the ground, or on the pole, or on a lap dance chair, this is about connecting to a song or a movement in your own way. To judge what makes you special or unique is to take away from what you are as an individual, flaws and abilities and all. You do your best with the imperfect body that you have. That is all that you can do, and all you can ask of yourself.

Hi Kitties... if you already read my pole dancing blog (updated daily) where this entry was originally posted, this blog may have been familiar. I'll be writing more original content just for the Bad Kitty blog soon, but this is a piece that is truly near and dear to my heart and I wanted to share it with the Bad Kitty readers! If you liked what you read, you can click here to connect with me on Facebook.

Odds are, in the pole competitions that you're familiar with, you're not used to seeing sequined pasties. Or booty shaking. Or entire routines without a twisted grip iron X. And maybe, after reading that little list, you’re thinking: “So?” or, maybe, you’re thinking, “Yeah, and that’s too bad.”

What if winning ultimately had nothing to do with strength, or what tricks you put in your routine? What if you could only win by being the most entertaining? By putting on the best show for the audience? How would that change the performance you create and how you develop it?

Last year, I had the opportunity to participate in Polesque… which, on the face of it, is a competition. But it’s a competition where the only rule you are given is: tell a story in 3 minutes or less. Three judges (this year: Flying Laura, Allison Cox, and a lawyer named Ben who definitely does not pole dance) determine the top 3 (or 4, in case of a tie) contestants based on performance quality, creativity, and execution. And the winner is selected by audience applause after a dance battle. There are no bonus points for doing the hardest move. There are no expectations on the difficulty level of the routine.

I had a really interesting interview recently with Kyra Johannsen, one of the three producers of Polesque (Kyle McBeth and Jen James being the other two). This Sunday is their third iteration of Polesque at Galapagos Art Space in Brooklyn, and the only constant element of the show has been the venue itself, which is beautiful and dramatic. The space is cavernous and yet still intimate, with a ceiling that seems to float somewhere above you, just out of sight. Lush, red, round banquette seats are built on walkways floating above water. Dramatic, back-lit shelves of alcohol wrap the back walls where the bars are located, and a second floor balcony offers additional vantage points of the stage. The Galapagos space is well known for drawing a discerning, edgy crowd, and has a full roster of programming that runs the gamut from independent movie screenings to weekly burlesque shows that combine aerial arts, bawdy, and tawdry with a rotating talent pool.

I would characterize Polesque as a show where someone happens to be selected as the winner, and Kyra heartily agreed. Their goal in creating this competition was to showcase the creativity of the performers in a way that can appeal to everyone, from the pole dancing enthusiast, to the theatre-goer, to the person who likes to have some cocktails and watch a fun show. This was an idea inherent in their marketing strategy as well: promo flyers were dropped or mailed out to local bars, gyms, and dance studios as well as pole studios up and down the east coast. Surprisingly, I had a number of people come up to me after the last Polesque, saying that they had no idea that pole dance could be as diverse as what they had just seen on stage. Kyra and her team are doing what many of us are hoping to see more of: by treating pole dance as simply another dance modality, removing the requirements, and bringing it back to emphasizing the beauty of individual expression, they are making pole dance accessible, and interesting, for the masses.

What I most loved about being part of the show was that it gave me complete freedom to express a character in a way that was aimed at connecting to the audience, first and foremost– I dressed as a saucy human fly for goodness’ sakes (complete with bug eyes, big clear plastic wings, and a song to match). After my performance early in the lineup, I shouted myself hoarse watching and cheering for my fellow dancers (I was also moved to tears a couple times) from a spot up on the balcony—among them, a saucy fluffy-skirt stripping bad girl, a Dirty Diana, a silver-taped robot, a Bond woman who had a bubble gun, a drunken glass-smashing housewife ready for revenge, and a hip-hop routine with some choreographic nods to Michael Jackson. And when the curtain went down after the winner was announced, I didn’t feel the buzz of post-competition relief– I felt the growing euphoria of a cast member in a show that has just killed it, and wants to do it all over again.

Polesque this year will be an absolute treat for anyone who was able to snag a ticket (it’s unfortunately already sold out). Interspersed among the competitors’ pieces will be saucy burlesque numbers from some of the best in the biz (Nasty Canasta, Sapphire Jones, and Gogo Harder), as well as Kyra’s new non-profit aerial dance company, Aera, featuring some dancers that we’re all familiar with—Marlo, Steven Retchless, and Rebecca Starr. The two prior winners of Polesque, Rica de Ocampo and Michelle Stanek, will be performing as well, reprising some of the elements of their winning routines. The host is Allison Hagendorf,  a music media personality who currently hosts the Fuse Top 20 Countdown and authors a column for Maxim.com.

There are plans to look at larger venues for the next time around, since the show has clearly outgrown the 350-person capacity of Galapagos, and Kyra hopes that eventually, multiple Polesque events can be held across the country and maybe even overseas, to give pole dancers everywhere the opportunity to perform... and give audience members everywhere an opportunity to experience what pole dance can be.

If you miss Polesque, don’t worry- the producers have hired videographers and will be posting each and every routine online for those who can’t make it–myself, sadly, included. Stay tuned to the Polesque Facebook page for those links, and updates on the next show slated for fall of 2011. Start filming your submission videos!

To view videos of the last Polesque, click here or here. Michelle's winning piece from the first Polesque is available here.

Click here to connect with me on Facebook and here to link directly to my personal pole blog!

Photography credit: Thanks to LucidaFotos, Lily Liu!

My name is Amy. Nice to meet you!

Once upon a time, I started a pole dancing blog. I didn't know who would read it, or if anyone even would. All I knew was that after 4 years of pole dancing, I had a lot of thoughts to get out, and I was hoping that maybe someone out there could relate to or learn from what I've been through. Turns out, Bad Kitty was reading, and they offered me the amazing chance to blog on this site, and share some of my writing with their readers. Of course, I jumped, rattled, and rolled at the opportunity!

My own pole journey started shortly after graduating college, when I was dealing with the frightening slowing of my metabolism (combined with my first real-life desk job) and the realization that if I didn't start to do something, I would need to upgrade to a larger-sized wardrobe. I started taking regular pole dance classes on a whim and found pole dancing to be a means of staying in shape and re-connecting to a sensual side I didn't know I lost.

I met amazing, open-minded, gracious, and introspective people who have helped me grow as a person and challenge myself. And eventually, I met my abs-- long lost old friends that emerged from under a few layers of late-night-carb-loaded-dinners-- and biceps, and deltoids, and traps. But the introductions were hidden under the wonderful disguise of FUN... a workout so fun you don't realize that you're doing it! I'd never done anything athletic prior to pole dancing (except running a horrible 100m hurdle time, and playing not-so-great tennis in high school), but I was soon in the best shape of my life, and empassioned about this new type of movement that had brought so much positive change into my life.

Early in 2010, I was given an opportunity to teach pole dance, and while this had always been an eventual goal for me, I finally felt that I was ready. Since then, I have been introducing men and women in their 20's, 40's, and 60's to the joy that is dance-- and more specifically, pole dance. I have gone from student to teacher but in the process, I realized that I am learning more now, at the front of the class, than I did before. I am getting schooled in pole, and life, in a very different way that I appreciate deeply and am inspired to share.

I truly believe that all women are beautiful, that all hips are inherently sexy no matter what size, shape, or color, and that there is nothing more attractive than self-confidence that radiates from a healthy place within. Currently I live and work in Manhattan, managing construction 9-5 and flying weightless at night teaching pole classes at Shockra Studios. I am certified in CPR/AED with the Red Cross, group fitness through AFAA, and pole instruction through the X-Pole/Crunch X-Pert Pole Fitness program. I've performed in Polesque, the Great Midwest Showcase, and Pole Superstar. You can find my blog (updated daily) at http://aerialamy.com/blog/ and you can also connect with me on Facebook by clicking here.

I'm excited to start posting! Thanks to Jack, Claire, and everyone at the Bad Kitty Blog team for being so welcoming and kind.