Here is something I don’t understand:  When I go to Yoga class, I do not show up late and I do not leave early.  Neither do any of the other students.   The same is true for any Dance class, Pilates class, Barre class and Muay Thai kickboxing class I have taken.   In fact, in my Muay Thai classes, new students are not only expected to show up early, they are encouraged to get involved at the gym and be of service.  I did not know this, of course, until I started reading the gym owner’s blog.  But it makes sense.  My brother has been studying and teaching Aikido for nearly 15 years, and as his sister I have not only been obliged to take Aikido, but indirectly been exposed to the culture of martial arts.  While traditions vary among different dojos, the approach to martial arts training is generally one of respect for the space, the teacher and the practice.  This is also true of yoga studios, which frequently offer classes in exchange for seva (or service).

But, in my experience, this is not as true of pole dance studios. And personally, I think that is a shame.  Not only do I think it is a shame, I think it does a disservice to students, the teachers and to the pole industry.  Maybe I’m old-fashioned.  Maybe I take my pole dancing a little too seriously.   But I think pole dancing is not just about you – it’s about the community a studio creates.  The classroom is a microcosm of this community.  If you consistently show up late to class you are effectively saying to your classmates and your teacher “I do not respect the rules you have set forth and I am continuously willing to disrupt your class time.”  That’s hardly an attitude that would be tolerated in a yoga studio or a dojo.  In fact, most studios (dance included) lock their doors once class starts, and the students know not to try to enter if they are late.  Even worse than the student who consistently shows up late is the one who complains when he or she is not admitted.  If we want to continue to move pole forward as a legitimate form of dance and artistic expression, then we need to begin to respect our classes in the same way we would respect any other class we take.

But truthfully, being late to class is not one of my biggest pet peeves.  Leaving class early, on the other hand, is.  Especially if it is a class where students take turns dancing at the end.   And that goes double if you are dropping in on a class that is not your home class (if that applies to your studio).  If everyone in the class supports you and stays through your dance, then you need to support them and stay through their dance.  It’s just polite.  Plan on being there for the full duration of your class.  If you can’t stay, then don’t come.

I’m going to say something that is probably controversial (surprise) but that I think it needs to be said:  There is an overdeveloped sense of entitlement in parts of the pole world – a kind of low-level narcissism in which things like respect for your teacher, your fellow dancers and a sense of service to the studio is missing.  Now, I realize that certain studios may contribute to this attitude by proclaiming that “It’s all about YOU YOU YOU!” and/or by charging exorbitant amounts of money for classes.  And I firmly believe that if you pay for a service, you are entitled to a positive experience.  But at the end of the day, you are a student.  You are there to learn, as is everyone else in the classroom.  So show respect for the rules of the studio and for your classmates and teachers.  Arrive on time.  Train hard.  Leave when class is over.  You will get more out of your classes this way, and you will make the classroom a more empowering and positive place for everyone – including yourself.

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Here is a recent headline in my favorite online paper, The Daily Mail.

Fitness studio's pole dancing classes for five-year-olds 'will make children more likely to end up in porn'

Really? First of all, since when does porn have an apostrophe after it?  It’s like the article was written by a five-year-old.  For those of you who want to read the article, click on the title.  For those of you who don’t, here is the low-down:  A child psychologist named Derek Swain has suggested that children who take pole dance classes will be more likely to join the sex industry later on in life.  His rationale? That there are “people out there” recruiting innocent girls into the sex industry, and if you already have “those skills” it would be an easy transition.

WHAT skills, Derek?  The owner of the pole studio doesn’t teach the five-year-old student how to grind, she teaches them how to be strong and athletic.  Of course, here is part of the problem:  No one outside the pole community understands that there are different types of pole dancing.  This is in part because we are new, and not necessarily doing a great job of defining what pole dancing is to the outside world.  One minute we are proclaiming our sexual empowerment on the pole, the next minute we are claiming it is strictly fitness.  In truth, it’s all of the above.

So who can blame people for being confused?

At the same time, Derek’s perceptions on how pole dancing ties into the sex industry are horribly misguided.  He assumes that pole dancing is always sexual, which it isn’t.  He also assumes that if a woman does explore her sexuality, she will automatically be more prone to considering sex work and stripping, which is also false.  He then assumes that if a woman does decide to join the ranks of sex workers, it is always because she is somehow a victim of predatory forces. Also untrue.  And finally, Derek completely overlooks the fact that women who pole dance report higher levels of self-confidence, happiness and overall feelings of well-being.

But Derek does provide us with several valuable lessons: First, it’s important for the pole community to continue to differentiate between the different types of pole dancing that exist.  Second, it’s important for pole dancers to continue to de-stigmatize expression of female sensuality and educate the public about the benefits of pole.  And third, the Daily Mail is a total rag.

I don’t think I have to tell you how backwards it is for a group that combats sexual assault to be reinforcing one of the oldest justifications for sexual assault: She is a slut, and it’s because of women like her that men rape.  This argument is a basically a variation on “She was asking for it.”  In other words, men are not ultimately responsible for rape.  If they were at a strip club, well then the poor things were being teased and tortured and OF COURSE they would go out and rape someone.  Blame the dirty whores who danced for them.  And then tax the companies that are responsible for creating such a situation.  It’s ridiculous.  Feel free to read more of my rant in my previous blog.  This blog is call to action.

Recently I completed an assignment in a Policy class for my MSW that focused on The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA).  Perhaps some of you have seen this Act discussed in the news, and know that for the first time in 18 years, it has come under fire.  The Violence Against Women Act has been around for since 1994, and it was spearheaded by then-Senator Joe Biden.  What it has done is create a systematic, coordinated community response to domestic and sexual assault as well as implemented Federal laws against domestic assault, trafficking, stalking and date rape. Prior to the passage of VAWA, states handled domestic assault cases and this made it very easy for perpetrators to move from state to state without repercussions.  It also meant that victims had less protection – if they moved to a different state they were no longer safe.  VAWA also created sensitivity training programs for law enforcement officials so they could identify and be responsive to domestic and sexual assault and started the first nationwide domestic assault hotline.  Prior to the passage of VAWA, there were more animal rescue shelters in the country than women’s shelters.  How do you like that?  Basically this bill took domestic and sexual assault and changed the perception that is was a “private issue” between a man and a woman into the perception that is was a national problem that needed to be addressed – much the same way that child abuse laws helped changed views on parenting.  Additionally, VAWA allotted block grants to states to fund things like rape crisis centers.  The Reauthorization of VAWA has been stalled for almost a year now.  This means that organizations that had previously been receiving Federal money to fund their services are now no longer funded – organizations like the ones in Illinois.  Many centers are being forced cut their services.  Others are finding creative funding solutions – such as the skin tax laws passed in Illinois and Texas.

So why am I talking about this? What does this have to do with pole dancing?   Well here is the thing: As a result of Congress’ inability to agree on the terms of this Bill, funding has been cut.  As a result of this loss in funding, organizations that fight sexual assault are resorting to other creative means of funding.  In the case of Illinois and Texas it is the “skin tax”.  These rationale behind these creative means of funding fly directly in the face of what many of us stand for and believe in as pole dancers:  the right for any woman to express her sensuality freely and without persecution or danger.   Ironically, they also fly in the face of one of the primary arguments that sexual assault coalitions make: it is always the perpetrator who is responsible for the rape.   Interestingly enough there have been a number of conversations amongst political candidates about rape in the news recently – usually connected to the abortion debate.  I’m not going to touch that issue, but I will say that the idea that there is legitimate rape and illegitimate rape – and that men feel as thought they can define it for a woman - is odious to me.  And it is a sad reminder of just how much misogyny is the still the common sense of our culture.

One of the wonderful things about the latest version of VAWA is that it implements a program that works with men to help prevent rape and violence before it happens.  I was thrilled to learn this, because I think raising awareness in men and educating them is the key to truly eliminating domestic violence and sexual assault and changing some of the deep-seated cultural beliefs men and women hold when it comes to sexuality.

If, as pole dancers, we truly believe in female empowerment, then we should believe that empowerment is the birthright of every woman, and seek to protect it. And if we believe that part of our responsibility – indeed our mission – is to help redefine the way our culture views women and sensuality, and to advocate on behalf of any woman’s right to dance sensually without danger of persecution, then it is also our responsibility to speak out publicly when we see these rights being violated.  And it is our responsibility to take action and put pressure on our political leaders to make changes, and pass bills that will protect our bodies, and the bodies of our sisters, our friends, our wives and our daughters.  As a fellow pole dancer and woman I urge you, not for political reasons, but for the right of women to be protected and to be free, to take action and spread the word.

To take action and urge your congress member to Reauthorize VAWA go to www.opencongress.org

All it takes is an email address and a click.

According to an article in theage.com, retailers are making sexy clothes for girls as young as ten.  Evidently, the debate around “how young is too young for sexy clothing” came about after Target was heavily criticized on social media for creating sexy clothing lines for girls ages 7-14.  Various voices weighed in, including Dr. Smith, who managed to roll modeling, pole dancing for children and provocative clothing into one big reason why women today think that “being sexy is the ultimate achievement”. (Do they really think that?)  Other commentators included a 17-year-old girl named Indigo who said, “We always seem to be on the side of empowering women through the whole young sexual culture thing or holding back the entire gender and it seems like a very fine line to walk.”  Yes Indigo, that line is better known as the Madonna/Whore split and sadly, it is still alive and well in the world and perpetuated as much by women as it is by men.

Now, before anyone gets their panties in a twist, let me be clear: I really don’t think ten year olds should be wearing sexually provocative clothing. Generally speaking, I do not think they are physically or psychologically mature enough to understand or respond to any unwanted attention that might come their way. Or to understand the implications of what dressing that way might mean to certain people.  However, the rhetoric that is being used to make this argument is unfortunately linked to the idea that we need to shield all young women from sexuality - because otherwise they will become “sexualized” and fall from grace.  This is utterly ridiculous.  When we view sex for girls as something predatory, risky and emotionally overwhelming, we are not only robbing them of the opportunity to explore and discover their own desires, we are teaching them that sex is something that “happens” to them, and this is dangerous.  A girl who does not believe she has agency over her sexuality is a girl who will not be able to create firm boundaries around her sexuality.

If we want to empower young women to make healthy sexual decisions, then it would be wise to begin teaching them to engage with their sexuality, rather than to guard their purity.  It would be wise to teach them that they can have responsible sexual experiences and that their sexuality comes from within.  Anyone who pole dances already knows this – or is learning it.  Why? Because she is getting in touch with her inner sensuality, and learning what feels good and right to her – from within.

There is tremendous pressure on women at an increasingly younger age to look and dress a certain way.  While I by no means support this trend, I do think that appointing moral guardians to firmly protect young women’s purity is as old and outdated as the lobotomy.  Instead of safeguarding their purity, why don’t we teach them about pleasure and desire?  Or, as Clementine Ford so brilliantly put it in her article Policing Young Women’s Sexuality:

“It is a paternalistic society that believes the exploration of sexuality in a woman leads to an emotional fall from grace from which she cannot recover. We do our girls no favors by refusing to acknowledge the raw complexities of their own sexual desires, instead reminding them constantly that their role in sex is restricted to picking and choosing who gets to receive their 'gift'. We don't own their bodies — they do.”

You hear that Dr. Smith?  Good. Now go get on a pole and work it out.

If we agree that the state of the mind influences the body and the state of the body influences the mind, then it becomes easy to see how movement and emotion are connected.  But how exactly does that work? And why would pole dancing “bring up” emotions? Well for a couple of reasons. First, working through the body (i.e. through movement) can provide direct access to early developmental, nonverbal and implicit behavioral issues.  And second, working through the body allows access to the physiological aspects of the nervous system, which are often compromised when someone suffers from depression, PTSD, anxiety or dissociation.  That doesn’t mean that everyone who has an emotional experience in class is suffering from one of these things.  It simply means that working with the body can often access the neurological implications of each of these issues.  An extremely simple example is the connection between exercise and symptoms of depression.  Certain research studies have shown that half an hour of exercise daily can be very effective in reducing symptoms of depression.  Why? Because it raises serotonin, reduces feelings of sluggishness and quite literally “activates” the body.  It works the other way too.  If we activate the body we have the potential to access untapped emotional issues, particularly if the movement we are doing is charged with, say, sexuality.

So how do you identify a person who might potentially be in the throes of an emotional breakdown?  It sounds easy right? Not always.  What may look like a deeply emotional dance can often be a “release” of traumatic energy.  This only becomes problematic if the person expressing the emotion becomes overwhelmed by it.  Some signs of emotional or psychological overwhelm in the body that we might see in a pole dance class are:

• Shaking and Trembling (often a sign of deep release within the nervous system. Not to be confused with muscle fatigue.)
• Freezing or immobility (a sign that someone is feeling deeply overwhelmed and trapped)
• Rage and Aggression, particularly if directed at other class members or the teacher
• Extreme sensitivity to light and sound
• Increased breathing (shallow, more rapid, etc), cold sweats
• Constriction in breath and/or musculature
• Dilated pupils
• Tears, when accompanied by any of the above

The presence of such symptoms does not necessarily indicate trauma and trauma may be present without any of these symptoms.  Nevertheless, they offer us a good guideline for recognizing when things might be getting out of hand.

Ok, so you have figured out that your student or classmate is having a meltdown.  What do you do?  Push them to dance through it? Stop them and ask them if they are ok?  Ignore it and hope for the best?

One of the biggest mistakes teachers make is encouraging their students to “dance through” the emotion.  This approach works fine if the person is not overwhelmed. However, if a person is flooded by their emotional experience, pushing them to move through it is a risky endeavor if you are not a licensed mental health worker and/or experienced in somatic work.  Oftentimes, a person will become so overwhelmed that they will begin to dissociate from the present moment and the intensity of the experience will re-traumatize them.  Trauma can only be resolved through movement and therapy if a person is continually experiencing a conscious awareness of their emotional state, and if they are able to complete the traumatic cycle in a way that is markedly different both physically and emotionally from the initial trauma.

Instead, encourage the student to come back to the present moment.  Have them slow down and connect to their breath, and feel their feet on the ground.  Separate them from the group, and if at all possible, do not draw attention to their situation.  Be very careful about touch.  Always ask for permission to touch them and be sure to announce what you are going to do before you touch them.  Many people have trauma that is connected to inappropriate or traumatic touch.  Above all, be gentle. They are in an extremely vulnerable and fragile state.  This is not the time for tough love.  Give them water to sip slowly, and encourage them to stay until the end of class if they can. Once class is over, be sure to address their experience privately, acknowledge it and offer the proper resources if they seem open to it. Do not diagnose your student or tell them what you think happened.  Instead, offer support and ask them what their experience was.  Reflect their experience back to them along with any (non-judgmental) observations you may have.

Lastly, it is easy to address a student’s concerns if he or she comes straight to you and tells you their experience.  But do not underestimate the seriousness of your student’s situation and never overestimate the limitations of your training.  Unless you are clinically trained to work in the mental health field, you should not be trying to resolve your students’ issues in class.  And even then, referral to a more appropriate setting is always recommended.

For More Information on Trauma and Referrals to Mental Health Resources Please Go To:

www.traumahealing.com

www.ptsdforum.org

www.sidran.org

Yoga shares some similarities with pole.  Aside from the obvious overlap in movement, flexibility training, strength and balance, yoga also has a lifestyle associated with it. Pole does as well. For yoga, however, the lifestyle is much more defined.  Flip through a yoga magazine and you will see articles on how to relieve muscle aches and pains as well as how to open up your spine or your hips.  There are features on food that suggest things like “Bear Naked Fit” granola and “Kind Healthy Grains” for your breakfast.   The majority of foods advertised are organic, and there are several ads for cleansing your GI track, should you be so inclined.  There are articles on how yoga compliments other forms of fitness as well as breakdowns of different yoga poses.  Because yoga is widely touted as a mind-body practice, there are a number of articles on how yoga can help you work with your emotions, open your heart and change your life.  The advertisements in the magazine all cater to a lifestyle choice that reflects health, harmony, and spiritual contemplation.

Yoga is a spiritual practice.  Both the Hindu and Buddhist faith use yoga as a means of spiritual discipline.  Its roots date back even further to the Mohenjodaro seals, which were discovered in the Indus valley, and are thought to be from around 3000 B.C.  Yoga has followed many paths since its inception, but it has always been affiliated in one way or another with spirituality, knowledge and enlightenment.  Ultimately, yoga is meant to help with dissolving the ego.

However, if you look at some of the advertisements and articles in Yoga Journal, you might never guess this was the case.  Nike has Global Yoga Ambassadors.  There are articles that show you how to “do yoga better”.  The majority of ads seem to sensationalize the extreme versions of yoga:  workshops and clothing lines feature teachers in impossible poses while other products claim to help with wrist and knee injuries.  I’m sorry, but if you are injuring yourself in yoga, then I’m afraid you are missing the point.  This reminds me of an advertisement I once saw for a 60-minute yoga class.  The rationale was that nobody has time in this day and age for 90 minutes of yoga, so now you can squeeze all of the benefits into 60. Really?

Flipping through Yoga Journal agitated me. It seemed like an incredibly westernized version of what was once a deeply contemplative practice.  And to echo my sentiments there was even a letter to the editor from someone who “found it painful when yoga was not fully represented as a spiritual path” and urged the magazine to “continue to reflect high spiritual values and a hope for a better, more beautiful world.”

Sometimes I worry that pole will suffer a similar fate.  The pole lifestyle is athletic, but, as far as I can tell, not nearly as healthy as yoga.  As Alethea Austin once said about yoga “Fuck that.  I want to drink Jack Daniels and listen to metal.” The again, there is no one style that defines pole, which makes it harder to define the pole lifestyle.  To me, pole is about the feminine. It’s about dance, costumes and shoes. It’s about emotional expression and freedom. One of the great things about pole is that it is all-inclusive.  Your body may hate doing the Gemini but love the Extended Butterfly.  And that is just fine.  Pole encourages you to seek out what works for your body, and gives you the choice to move in a way that feels right to you.  Like yoga, pole appears to have a great deal of mind-body benefits.  Although there is very little research in this area, many women will attest to the countless ways in which pole has changed their lives for the better - and not just because they fit into their skinny jeans again.   Pole dancing as we know it today has a number of influences, including Chinese pole, aerial silks and contortion. However the roots of pole dancing lay in the erotic, much in the way that the roots of yoga lay in the spiritual.  The history of erotic dance is rich, and as filled with spirituality and celebration as it is with oppression and exploitation.  The stories of oppression are often directly linked to cultural perceptions of female sexuality as well as the rise of Judeo-Christian values, which often link female sexuality to original sin.  As pole dancers today, we still fight this oppression and the stigma that comes with it.  But that is a separate blog.

As pole, like yoga, becomes more commercialized, we see the emphasis shift towards competitions, towards “doing it better”, and towards winning.  There is nothing inherently wrong with this.  Competitions give recognition and reward.  They inspire us to work harder. However, this approach does not necessarily reflect the roots of pole. It does not reflect the tradition of women dancing together to celebrate themselves, or birth, or sex as they did in ancient erotic dance practices.  Nor does it reflect the tease and titillation of early pole dancing.  And it does not reflect much of what women say they love so much about pole: the community and the permission to be exactly where you need to be in your dance.

And so, when I get invitations to the hundreds of pole workshops aimed at teaching me how to do it better, how to win more competitions, how to be PERFECT at POLE, I get agitated. Much in the same way that I get agitated flipping through Yoga Journal.  I never started pole dancing because I wanted to be perfect, or win.  I started pole dancing because it was fucking cool and sexy as hell.  I started pole dancing so I could become an expert at titillating with my dance. Yes, I like tricks, and I like the power that comes with doing a trick.  But I could care less about being perfect in my dance. Perfectly slutty, maybe. But perfect? Yawn. I get enough pressure in my daily life to be perfect.  Pole dancing is my escape from all that.

I suppose everyone has their version of escape, just like everyone has their version of pole.  So getting back to the analogy in the title:  yoga is to spirituality as pole is to ____?

For me the words that fit in that blank space are “the erotic”.

I'm curious, what are they for you?

Basically, the law works like this: the state will tax strip club operators on gross receipts on a tiered basis, or a 3.00 surcharge per person.  The Coalition Against Sexual Assault approached Senator Hutchinson to sponsor the bill when funding for rape crisis centers dropped 1.2 million in the past 3 years.  Polly Poskin, executive director of the Coalition, calls the law “a victory for rape victims and the dedicated rape crisis centers who work 24 hours a day, 365 days a year…to provide services to rape victims.”

Club owners were strongly opposed to the tax, but applauded Senator Hutchinson for trying to do something good.  Hutchinson has said she was not trying to shut down strip clubs, and hoped to dialogue with the industry.

It’s interesting that the Coalition Against Sexual Assault would target strip clubs as good source of revenue for their cause.  I am all for supporting rape crisis centers, particularly when their budgets are being severely slashed. But is it really wise in the process to suggest that there is a correlation between strip clubs and rape?  This kind of mentality is straight from the old “if-you-were-asking-for-it-you-deserved-it” book. In other words, if a woman puts her sexuality on display, she is encouraging men to disrespect her and even commit a violent crime against her, or against other women.  I am shocked that a group that works to promote awareness about sexual assault would align itself with this type of thinking.  It’s akin to placing the responsibility of the rape on the victims themselves: “Well Sue, if your rapist hadn’t been to a strip club earlier, he probably wouldn’t have raped you.”  Bullshit.

Rape doesn’t happen because men are so turned on they can’t control themselves. Rape is an act of power and coercion over another person.  And the idea that women should contain and control their sexuality so that they don’t “tempt” men into “behaving badly” is as old and outdated as a chastity belt.

It reminds me of a Q&A I found on one of my pole dancing friend’s Facebook pages. The question was, “If you had a daughter, and she was going to go out to a party with guys drinking, would you let her go out looking like a slut?”

The answer to this question was as follows: “If the next generation of sons are as repulsed by rape as they should be, then we won’t need to worry about our daughter’s clothing.  Hell if we make our generation shift the blame from the victim to the perpetrator and recognize rape as an act of violence rather than a natural hazard then we won’t even notice clothing.   So the question becomes: If you had a son, and he was going out to a party with girls drinking, would you let him go knowing that one of them could be my daughter and that if he ever touched her without consent, I’d kill you?”

It’s no doubt the response of a protective father, nevertheless it brings up an excellent point: Focus on raising your sons to understand that women need to consent to their sexual advances.  Focus on shifting the blame to the people who commit the rape and not the victims, who, no matter what they are wearing, or what their job is, are never responsible.

I applaud the Coalition Against Sexual Assault for looking to alternative ways of funding their services.  But the connection they are drawing between sexual entertainment and sexual assault is disturbing and backwards.

A lobbyist friend of mine in DC had this to say about it, “What's interesting about this thing is that when they did it in Texas it got held up in court with an injunction by the strip club owners. There were 10's of millions of dollars held up in a trust. The basic premise is that there is no nexus between men visiting a strip club and its correlation with violence against women. What it comes down to is that politicians want to spend more money and they need someone to be the bad guy so the public will feel good about taxing them to pay for it. It's just another money grab veiled as good public policy. “

Sadly, I agree.

For More information on How to Get Involved with your local Rape Crisis Prevention Center

Go to: www.rainn.org

Okay, so I know it was 20 years ago when you first started teaching yourself to pole dance, but what did you struggle with back then?

When I first started teaching myself, I got a pole in my bedroom and I was very determined to get the left leg hang. (aka the gemini) And I really, really struggled with it because I had no one to teach me how to do even an upside down V first! No one was teaching then. The move I knew before that, was like, the bodyroll. I didn’t know anything else! I just saw a left leg hang once, and went ‘Must do!’

So I went from standing upright, to just wanting to get into left leg hang. And I didn’t know what was in between. I couldn’t grip properly, the pain behind my leg was just crazy and I just remember trying over and over and over, and just being red and raw, and still going for it! Then eventually getting it, but with all the wrong techniques! So that is very clear in my memory… the battle to get the left leg hang!

What’s your guilty pleasure?

Red wine and cheese! After a good day, I love to go home, watch a video of what I did that day, and then turn everything off and sit and watch a movie with my husband with wine and cheese. I do it every night without fail! If I don’t, I can’t unwind.

I loved watching *Inner Showgirl, by the way.

( *Inner Showgirl was BPS Sydney’s in-house ‘reality show’ about 4 ordinary women getting transformed into pole dancing showgirls within 10 weeks.)

That was fun wasn’t it! We were hoping it would get picked up by one of the TV networks, but it didn’t. I think pole dancing is a big gamble still, to the media.

Really? I thought pole was so big in Australia, like, on par with yoga!

You know what? Every country thinks that about every other country. It’s so funny!

I say in Australia, ‘It’s so cool in Singapore, that they’re really accepting it there’, whereas here, you’re like, ‘It’s so cool in Australia that they’re so accepting.’ And then I say, “Americans are so open-minded.’ But the Americans say, ‘No, they’re not, You’re so open-minded!’

So we all think the opposite, it’s really quite interesting. Australia is okay but not media.. they’re still a bit funny about it. Like I tell people I’ve had my company for 8 years now, and I think, ‘8 whole years!’ And still interviewers go, “So, Pole dancing! This is a new rage, huh?” And I’m like, ‘Oh my God, you’ve just heard of it?!’

Okay. My next question is: Have you always had super long hair?

(Laughs) I love this question!! Cos it is all about the hair! Yes, I’ve always had super long hair. Have you?

Yes, I have Rapunzel syndrome.

(Laughs) Yeah that’s what it is, isn’t it! Have you ever cut your hair and gone through that heartache?

The last time I ever cut my hair short was when I was a teenager, and that was a long time ago…

Well I only got it cut short once when I was in Japan. Someone dared me $3,000 that I wouldn’t cut my hair. The next day I got it cut off and he paid me $3,000. True story!

Could you share a little of your experience from dancing in Japan?

Absolutely! It was the best time of my life, and made me the person I am now.

I went there when I was very young, about 20 til I was 27. I lived there dancing and doing cabaret shows and then I started in the striptease industry, doing lap dancing and strip tease. And I loved every minute of it!

It wasn’t sleazy, it wasn’t dirty, it wasn’t corrupt in any way. I got a very strong work ethic out of it, in fact. You learn how to take care of yourself, and as an exotic dancer, you work for yourself. So if I don’t work, I don’t get paid. No one pays you for sitting in the back corner. You have to get up and work, and get rewarded. So that has sort of played on for the rest of my life, knowing that you can’t just sit back and expect things to come to you, you just have to work at it. And if you’ve got a gift, well work harder! And it’ll reap in the end. So Japan was the background for everything.

I lived there with my sister too, so every day was a funny situation of these two young Australian girls who knew nothing about life, trying to make everything work together in a strong cultural country.

Kind of like, Lost In Translation?

Yeah! (Laughs) I think it was a good we were young, cos we were naïve and a little oblivious to things going on around us, considering most of the patrons were 40, 50, 60-year-old Japanese men, and we were just 20-year-old girls who knew nothing about life. But it worked, you know. They were amused by us, and we were amused that they were amused by us. Sort of like a poodle getting along with a great dane, you know? And going, ‘oh that’s cute!’

Unfortunately, a lot of people go, ‘oh that’s sleazy!’ But it wasn’t like that at all. That’s all it was. I think I came out a stronger person for it.

So I heard you speak fluent Japanese?

I did. That was a long time ago! I still understand it, and I speak a little bit. But I don’t get much opportunity to anymore, obviously, living in Australia. But I can understand and I could read and write it. I taught myself.

Wow!

I had to! You know, when you’re there.. you just have to. I’d shop for myself, and no one was going to tell me what was toothpaste and what was hair conditioner, you know what I mean?

What's your fondest memory, or person from that time?

I had a Japanese boyfriend for a long long time when I was there, a much older man. There were ups and downs, but he was the highlight of my being there. Being with him, being treated like an adult and being looked after. He brought me around the world, gave me beautiful things, and I got to see things that I would never have gotten to see as a normal 20-year-old.

And we’re still friends now! 20 years later, we’re still in touch! He’s married with kids now and I’m married too, but he comes to Sydney every now and then and we’ll go out for coffee! And he’s got a club in Japan and I’ve just started supplying cabaret shows. So after all these years, he ended up owning a club, and I ended up choreographing shows, and he got back in touch with me and said, ‘Do you want to provide dancers for my club?’ So yeah, full circle.

That’s so awesome!

I know right?

Do you have a most embarrassing moment?

I’ve had a few but most of them aren’t from recent teaching. They’re probably more from my strip days, like dropping off the pole naked or smashing my head on the stage naked! It’s always to do with being naked, cos that’s when you’re most vulnerable! And I wasn’t very controlled then, I wasn’t very good. So, when you’ve got no clothes on, and when you’re trying to do pole tricks and not really paying attention to your surroundings… well I had a few bumps and falls that were terribly humiliating! But you know, that’s life!

Sounds like that nightmare where you suddenly realize you’re naked in public!

Yeah! But it was real! And there were people looking at me and there were people laughing, and I was in the dressing room afterwards, mortified! It was very real!

But after you’ve gone through that, you can live through anything!

That’s right! That’s why I am who I am! Cos, if I didn’t go through all that.. well you know, I don’t care what people think of me now! Nothing’s worse than those kinds of situations! (laughs)

Just today, I was sitting at the pool with my straps off cos I was trying to get a tan. Then I totally forgot, suddenly sat up, and then my top fell off! And there were all these people in front of me, and I was like, ‘So sorry!’, and put it back on again, and was like, ‘well that was embarrassing!’

Some other women might have been absolutely screaming mortified, but I was like, ‘Oh well, I was just topless in at this lovely hotel.. whatever! Maybe it made someone’s day!’ So yeah.. everything with a grain of salt. As long as you don’t hurt anyone!

Thanks Bobbi, for the fabulous interview and for sharing these awesome, rare photos with us! :)

If you liked this post and want more crazy pole musings, please check out my pole blog Chwennyland, and connect with me on Facebook! Love, Chwenny :) xoxo!

Bobbi with Sueann, Sue-Anne & Annie. Aka 'The Sue-Ann-ie sandwich' Photo by Miss Folly

What a weekend it's been! I got to meet my pole Idols Bobbi, Cleo, and Chilli, do workshops, interviews, and watch one of my instructors win the title of Miss Pole Dance South-East Asia!

On Saturday night, Avalon was the place to be. Situated right on the water at the beautiful Marina Bay Sands, the upscale club was the perfect location for the competition.

Since MPD is the studio's biggest event of the year, I was a little worried that it would be too crowded because I really wanted to have a good view of the contestants as they took to the stage. But I didn't have to worry, thanks to my friend and inter 3 classmate Annie, who scored us the best spot in the house... right behind the judges!

I managed to take videos of every performer with my little iPhone, but the sound quality on it is terrible. And the 3GS doesn't have a built-in flash so taking photos was out of the question. Fortunately, the very talented Noel from Nudge Photography was official photographer that night, and he gave me his kind permission to use his photos. You can drool over the gorgeous full set on his Facebook page. The show opened with a lovely surprise.. Chilli Rox, instructor from Bobbi's Sydney (and the emcee for the night) singing a cabaret number! No one had any idea she was such a good singer... Then she hopped on the pole for a bit, and finished off with a very naughty burlesque striptease number.

After her opening number, it was time for the contestants to hit the stage, starting with BPS instructor Vivienne, aka Poppi Diamond. Her flexibility class is the reason I can do a front split on my good side now. (Thanks Viv!) I also heard that she dedicated her MPD performance to her dog. How can you not love that?!

Next up was fellow BPS instructor, Naoko.  She's been teaching the advanced classes at Bobbi's Singapore fo a long time, so when she got on stage the sound of cheers from her screaming fans just hit the roof. After this, I'm also pretty sure her classes will be even more fully booked than they already are! She did a flawlessly executed routine to "Circus" by Britney..

So, it's really no wonder that she took home the grand prize of Miss Pole dance South East Asia 2012! Here she is again with the other winners. Left to right: Naoko Enomoto from Singapore, 2nd place winner Ana-Marie from the Philippines, 3rd place winner Nika from Japan, and Best-Dressed winner Felina from Japan.

Another treat was the intermission performance by yet another of BPS's advanced instructors, Lena. She did a beautiful aerial silks performance that was totally unexpected. (and made my hands sweat cos I was so nervous watching her twirl around high in mid-air with no safety net in sight!)

Dressed all in white with the swirling white silks, she looked like an angel in the air! I once asked her which is harder: silk or pole? Her answer: "Silks, by far!

Another 'angelic' moment was when our final BPS instructor Steph, took to the stage for her lyrical number. I loved her floaty blue outfit, and most of all how it draped perfectly over her legs during her final pose.

Okay, okay, I know all the photos are of BPS contestants so far... so, not to be biased, here's the super-sexy Melody Rose from Hong Kong. She used to train at Bobbi's in Sydney and recently opened her own studio, Melody Pole Studio in Hong Kong. I had a chance to watch her during Bobbi's SLAP and Pole Grooves workshop and I tell you, I could not peel my eyes off her cos she is sohawt when she dances!

What I really loved about watching the competition was the variety of different styles. The contestants from overseas all had very distinctly unique styles of dancing. Second place winner Ana Marie from the Philippines did a really power-packed performance, busting out shoulder mounts and death-defying drops everywhere. Andshe can break dance. In heels!

Besides the lovely Japanese contestant Koharu (below), both 3rd place winner Nika, and Best-dressed winner Felina also represented Japan.

Nika did a dramatic, tango-esque rendition of Roxanne from the Moulin Rouge soundtrack. Love the song and love that movie!

And just take a look at how dramatic Best Dressed winner Felina's costume was! So Lady Gaga.. she actually did her first combo on the pole in that entire getup, before stripping it off.

After all the contestants did their thing, there was still one last performance left that everyone was waiting for... Who else but the reigning champion of Miss Pole Dance Australia, Cleo The Hurricane?

Once again, ALL of these beautiful photos were taken by the wonderful Noel of Nudge Photography. He's the same guy responsible for the pole pics on my blog banner right on top.

Besides pole, he does loads of other shoots too. So contact him to do your pole/ wedding/ anniversary/ newborn baby/ other important life event photos, already! ;)

Oh, and I did mention earlier that I got the chance to have a chat with Bobbi and ask her all the things I've been dying to know about her, right? Seriously, you have no idea how stoked I am that she agreed to an interview! I'm still putting it together, and frankly there's a LOT to get through..

So stay tuned for The Bobbi Interview that's coming soon. (I promise!) In the meantime, here's the highlights video of MPD SEA 2012, taken by The New Paper: Enjoy!

Miss Pole Dance Southeast Asia 2012

If you liked this post and want more crazy pole musings, please check out my pole blog Chwennyland, and make friends with me on Facebook! Love, Chwenny :) xoxo!

But I'd never met her before... would she be willing to talk to me? Would she she be unimpressed with my silly questions? After all, she's one of the pioneers of the pole industry... just the thought of it made me so nervous that I kept putting off writing down my interview questions for the longest time.

But I discovered on the day that I met her during her pole grooves workshop, that she is genuine, down to earth, and very forthcoming. Phew! In fact, the raw interview transcript ended up 10 pages long so I thought it best to edit it into 2 parts. Here's part 1 of The Bobbi Interview:

Are there any challenges to being the Fabulous Bobbi of Bobbi’s Pole Studio?

I think the only challenge is living up to people saying that! It’s such a funny thing to hear! It’s a big title that I’ve been given, when all I’ve done is just do my thing. And when people are like, ‘Oh, you’re Bobbi!” I’m like, ‘Yeah, but all I did was just open some schools…’

That’s so not all you did!

(Laughs) Yeah, but I managed to open schools whereas a lot of the other big names around haven’t got schools behind them, they got their name from performing and doing competitions.

But I don’t do those. I’m not in it for myself. I’m more into providing a bigger entity for teachers to come in and then grow my school and make it bigger. That’s more important to me. I like creating someone else’s stardom on stage. I love that process of training someone else, to help them.

So when people are like, ‘Do a show!” I’m like, ‘Alright well I’m not really what you think.. I can create the foundations and I can develop a showgirl, but I can’t necessarily do the most mind-blowing performance that you’ve ever seen.’ I don’t train enough to do that, cos that’s not what I want to do.

But I love the fact that I have BPS and that I’m the face behind that..

How many hours a week do you spend on the pole?

It changes from week to week. Sometimes I can do nothing for a whole week, and then sometimes I can do 10 – 15 hours. It depends on what is coming up, or what I’m training for or teaching. I don’t have a strict regimen that I follow, I just do what my body wants to do. And I think that it’s really important to not force yourself. But I’d say on average I can do probably 6 hours a week, sometimes more, sometimes nothing.

I haven’t taught regularly for 2 years, but I’m starting again next week, finally after 2 years! And I’ll be teaching 6 hours a week, which isn’t much compared to some of the teachers, but it’s enough for me!

How come you decided to start again?

I missed it! And I’ve opened a new studio, Bobbi’s Gold!

Do you prefer teaching or performing?

That’s a tricky question.. I used to prefer performing, but I’m now 43 so I think I prefer teaching now. I’ve done 20 years of performing! I’ve been there! I’ve had my time dancing on stage. That was awesome, I loved it, but I’m not longing for it anymore. But I love being onstage teaching a class. I still like performing but I get a bigger thrill from teaching and seeing results now.

Well, since we’re on the topic of teaching, what was it like teaching Felix when she was new? ...Is it okay that I ask you that?

Oh, ask me anything! I’ve just told you my worst secret, my age.. so it doesn’t get worse than that!

Hahahahahha….

Well with Felix, I never taught her! She came to the Perth studio and I only taught at the Sydney studio. So my sister Kim taught her from when she first started. And Kim pretty much recognized in the first session that there was something special about her. So Kim taught her for 8 months before Felix won the championship.

God, 8 months is incredible..

Yea, it’s crazy! It’s insane! But Kim knew straight away. And Felix had a very, very strong dance background. So she just applied it to pole very quickly. She’s very clever, and she’s also got a very good body awareness. And so when you’ve got that formula, you’ve got very good potential.

Is there any favourite thing you like to teach?

I love teaching Pole Grooves! Or any kind of routines, not just tricks. I’m not just a trickster. I like the flow, because I’ve got a dance background and I like changing music all the time cos I love music so much. I can’t just listen to the same song all the time. So I need a whole new song every time, with a whole different combination and it gives me total pleasure that I’ve completed something.

Have you ever sustained any injuries along the way?

No, to be honest, nothing serious. You know, I’ve had the odd ‘Can’t move my neck today, and my legs hurt’ but nothing that’s put me out. I think it’s because I’ve been doing it for so long and doing it gradually and at my own pace. I’m self-taught, so I never forced anything upon myself that I wasn’t ready for, so I’ve managed to  avoid injury for anything serious.

How do you dream up so many choreos all the time?

I dunno, they just come! But with the right song. If someone gives me a particular piece of music they need and it’s not what I consider a pole dancing song, I find it very difficult to come up with a routine.

I’m like a songwriter, in the way that a songwriter needs the right melody to match the words. I need the right song to match the dance and especially pole dance because it’s so unique. I guess that’s my gift, that’s what I’m blessed with.

I can spend hours on the wrong song, and then go through my iPod, find the right song, go ‘Ah!’ and put something together in seven minutes. Like that routine I just taught, it came together in under ten minutes.

Seven minutes?!

Yeah! Whereas another routine might take me 2 hours. That usually happens when I’m making up the routines for classes for all the different levels, cos I can’t necessarily pick songs I like. I have to pick a song for Singapore, Malaysia, Perth, Sydney, that’s gonna suit every student from every background, so I have to pick a well known song. Then I struggle a bit.  But they work too, they come out in the end!

So if you had a choice, what kind of music would you pick? Just based on what you wanted?

Rock. Soft rock. All the way! Stuff like Creed’s ballads, slow Metallica, or any of those bands that put out a ballad that’s a rock genre. I would do a School Of Rock!

Do you ever get stuck? Like, uninspired?

Often!

Really? I thought you’d shrug and go, ‘Nah, never!’

No! Often, I wake up and go all the way to work, and I find everything I can do to avoid going on the pole. And then I’ll come home and say to my husband, ‘Today was not a good day.’

But I can recognize those days now. It’s like how I said that I don’t force myself, so I don’t injure myself. So if I’m just not feeling it, I just don’t go there. And it took a long time to recognize that, but now I’m okay with it! I don’t come home and go, ‘Ugh, sh*t! I’ve lost it!” I just go, ‘It just wasn’t today.’ Cos next week it’ll come, maybe three days in a row! I’ll get inspired every day and work more and more. So yeah, I’m good at that now.

So you don’t have to do anything special to get your groove back?

Not at all. I just wait and see how I feel when I wake up the next day. I don’t force it and don’t want to force it. Cos that’s when it becomes a ‘real job’ you know? And then you might start to not like it anymore. And I don’t want to not like my job. I love it so much!

What would you have done if you weren’t a pole instructor?

Good question! Hmm.. if I wasn’t a pole instructor.. I would have to be involved with music and dance somehow. Or entertainment. I couldn’t think of anything else! I love animals, and I’d like to say I’d be involved with them but I’m too emotional about it. I couldn’t have gone the route of vet or zoo keeper cos I’d get too sad! So it would have to be something that doesn’t upset me, haha!

But it couldn’t have been an office job, let’s put it that way. It could never have been a 9-5, I just can’t function that way!

Do you have any pets?

Oh God, yeah! 4 cats and a dog at the moment.

What do you think is the most important quality for pole dancers?

Well, there are the physical qualities. Sometimes they’re God-given, like flexibility: back, legs, arms, etc.. some girls are just given it right? If they’ve got that: Great Start!

And some things you got to work at. You can build your upper body strength, that comes with training. Flexibility does come too, but not all the time.

The other things you’ve got is determination, and strength. If you’ve got those, I think they’re the qualities that make a really great pole dancer. Some girls just have strength, they have no flexibility at all. But if they’ve got determination, they can do a really impressive show without needing to do the splits.

But I think you do need both. That’s how I can spot a potential champion or a potential teacher: If they have those two ingredients.

What about important qualities to be a pole instructor?

Those things are fairly important, but most important is the ability to listen, and to teach. Not everyone can teach. Just because you can do it, as the old saying goes, you can’t necessarily teach it. So, I need to see girls who I know want to learn themselves, but who are also breaking it down enough to be able to share it with someone else. And I can see it when girls are just in it for themselves, or they’re in it for the long term of wanting to share their skills with others. Sometimes it’s easy to see, sometimes it comes up after a while.

What advice to you have for new pole beginners?

Don’t give up! It’s so easy to give up cos it hurts and cos it’s hard. So don’t give up but at the same time, don’t push yourself and don’t overdo it. Cos you can burn out by going too hard straight away, or injure yourself, or just not be having fun anymore.

And don’t compare yourself to others! Comparing yourself to other people in the class is the worst thing you can do… the worst thing! And that goes for everybody, not just beginners! Just look at yourself, and your own improvement. As a beginner, if you came in and you couldn’t even stand up in heels, and then you finish 8 weeks and you can walk in heels, you’ve already done something that so many other chicks can’t do!

Well Bad Kitties, I hope you enjoyed it so far! Stay tuned for part 2 of The Bobbi Interview, where she gets a lot more personal and talks about how she got started, her past struggles, and what made her the person she is today...

If you liked this post and want more crazy pole musings, please check out my pole blog Chwennyland, and connect with me on Facebook! Love, Chwenny :) xoxo!