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How to Be a Good Pole Mom

By on May 15, 2017

Just so we are on the same page: What is a pole mom? A pole mom can often be your very first pole instructor, but that isn’t a hard and fast rule. He or she can be anyone you feel connected to and who made a great impact on your pole practice at some point in your pole journey. A pole mom is a role model and a teacher, but she is much more than that.

“At its most inclusive and accurate definition, a Pole Mom is someone who believes in you, supports you, listens to you, keeps your head on straight, has your best interest at heart, keeps it 100% real with you, wants your success, helps you achieve your goals and make your dreams come true.”

– Veronica Nichols, “Honor Your Pole Mom

A good pole mom deeply cares about you and does a few things differently. She…

Is strict when needed.

…and always says what she needs to say even if you don’t like it. You might hate hearing “Now on the other side” and “Again, now with the pointed toes” but it’s for the sake of your own good lines and proper form. Sometimes you are just not aware of the aspects of your pole practice that need a bit of polishing. Helpful and specific feedback on the things that can be corrected will help you to improve your pole skills. It goes without saying that a pole mom’s constructive criticism is given in an encouraging and thoughtful manner without any kind of shaming. In addition to that, a good mom will set the class rules and make sure you follow them. If she prohibits rushing into certain tricks, skipping the warm-up, or poling when injured, it’s because she cares about your safety. Listen to your pole mom when she is giving you constructive criticism and follow the safety rules!


Loves you unconditionally.

Even when you jump into inverts and pole with unpointed toes. She allows room for her pole babies to sometimes make mistakes and be lazy (because nobody’s perfect!)

Is there for you when you need her.

A pole mom is not someone who just teaches and demonstrates pole tricks during the class. A pole mom is not just a fitness instructor. A pole mom is much more than that. She is your shoulder to cry on when you can’t stick to the pole, when you feel like giving up, when you don’t believe in yourself and harshly criticize your skills and abilities, when you don’t meet your expectations, when you’re anxious about performing, when you get mean comments and when you get seriously injured.


Believes in you.

Your pole mom knows that with patience and persistence you will get all your Nemesis and Dream Tricks, even when you don’t believe that.

Helps you find your own style.

Whereas a lot of pole babies tend to look up to their pole moms and copy their combinations and moves, no two polers are the same. We should all strive to find our own and unique pole voices. A good pole mom will help you express yourself, find your own style, and foster it.


Teaches you the importance of self-worth.

We love pole dancing as much as we do because it gives us confidence in all aspects of our lives. A good pole mom will nurture your confidence and sense of self-worth. Even when you are not happy with where you are on your pole journey, even if you are not as strong and flexible as you would like to be, your pole mom will encourage you to appreciate your victories and milestones, while motivating you to keep working hard on your goals.

Is not jealous of you.

Sometimes pole babies become better than their teachers. And that’s okay! What’s not okay is making jealous remarks or hampering/slowing down the progress of particularly talented pole babies.


Sets a good example.

The best way to ensure that your pole babies follow your rules and advice is that YOU follow your own rules and advice. If you say one thing, but do the other, your words lose the credibility. If you demo without warming up – how do you expect them not to pole unprepared? A good pole mom is a good role model.


We want to hear from you! What else makes a good pole mom?


Feature photo of  Bad Kitty Brand Ambassador Sarah Scott by Adam Jay


A pole and lyra enthusiast, day-dreamer and the queen of procrastination.
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