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The Single Pole Life

By on July 7, 2014

Being single isn’t easy for anyone, but in this day and age there are so many new ways to meet the potential Mr. or Mrs. Right. Right?

Online dating is probably one of the most popular ways to meet new people and as a single girl who is pretty busy most of the time (and isn’t a big fan of going out to bars etc. on the weekend), being able to flip through endless profiles of single men without having to get out of my pajamas sounds pretty amazing.

I’ve been pressured by my mother dabbled in a couple of online dating websites over the last 12 months as well as downloading the Tinder app to my phone and experienced a small amount of success. Online dating can be difficult though, and the one thing I’ve found especially challenging is finding the right time to bring up the fact that I’m a pole dancer.

The fact that I pole dance has never been something I have felt like I need to hide. I proudly tell anyone and everyone what I do with most of my spare time (read:money), but when it comes to online dating I’ve learned that revealing that you’re a pole dancer can be, well, frustrating to say the least.

When I first created my profile, choosing which pictures to upload was hard.  Most of the recent pictures I had were of me on a pole wearing nothing more than a crop top, hot pants and a pair of 7 inch stilettos. But, being the honest person that I am, I decided that the fact that I pole dance wasn’t something that I wanted to hide. While I didn’t write it in my bio, I did include a picture of myself on a pole doing an Iron X fully clothed.

Single Pole

Big mistake.

While there were one or two guys who were legitimately interested in me as a person, the rest were depressingly predictable.  The conversations would start off fine: “How are you? What do you do for work? What are you up to on the weekend?” Then, the standard, general chitchat which would almost always lead to the inevitable question: “So, you pole dance?” They would initially be curious: “Oh you must be really strong/fit etc., How long have you been doing it?”  And then of course, they would ask: “So, do you have a pole at your house?”  And from there the conversation almost always went downhill.  Within minutes the guy would say something sexual. I have lost count of how many times “I’ve got a pole you can dance on”  was used in conversation. Like I hadn’t heard THAT a million times before.

One of the worst experiences I had was with a guy I met through an online dating website (I won’t say which one but it is the one that my mother pressured me into joining because apparently finding a man would solve all of my problems). Whilst chatting with this particular gentleman our conversation led him to ask me what I was up to. I told him I was off to my dance class shortly. Which of course prompted the question, “What kind of dancing?” I wasn’t about to lie, so I told him. Now for some reason this guy assumed that Pole Dancer = Stripper. I’m not even sure how he came to this conclusion because I never said I worked in a club. I specifically told him that I just did classes a couple of times a week for fun and fitness. The next day, he messaged me while I was at the studio.  I told him I was training and he asked if he could come and watch, explaining “I don’t know why but I always seem to attract the strippers. My ex was a stripper”.  I sat there and looked at the text for about 5 minutes, scrolling through our previous conversations to try and find out why exactly he would think I was a stripper. I was lost.
After clearing it up with him, we continued to talk and decided to meet up for a date. Long story short, I got all excited, went out and bought something new to wear, showed up for the date, and he didn’t. I never heard from him again. Looking back on it I probably should have seen it coming, but he was really hot and funny.

 

Fianna and her boyfriend
Fianna and her boyfriend

 

 

 

There are more horror stories and after a few months I decided to give the online dating thing a rest. Not to mention I’m currently training for a big pole comp so most of my spare time is  spent practicing or organizing things for my routine.  However once the competition is over I might (and that’s a very big might) consider trying online dating again. Which brings me to my big question: When do you let the “I’m a pole dancer” cat out of the bag?  I keep going back and forth about it. Do I keep it to myself until I’m sure the guy isn’t going to go down the “Dance on my pole” path or do I just continue to be straight up and honest about it? And I think I have decided that I’m just going to be straight up about it. I really don’t want to hide something that is a big part of who I am. Surely there are guys out there who aren’t going to be immature about it. And for the ones that are, well that’s why we have the delete button. 🙂

Have any other single polers out there had similar problems or am I the only one?

 

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Billie Brooklyn

Billie Brooklyn

Billie is a self confessed pole-oholic from Sydney Australia, who has a love for 7 inch heels and sparkly costumes.

Billie has been performing and competing in Sydney for the last 3 years and after a brief time away from the stage she cannot wait to get back to doing what she loves best.

She also has an obsession with Black Milk Clothing (that will most likely send her broke one day), and Game of Thrones.
Billie Brooklyn

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