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9 Reasons Why Men Should Learn Erotic Dance

By on May 9, 2017

BK Writer Katie Johnson


Last week, a friend of mine who works as an exotic dancer, mentioned to me that her dream date turned into a nightmare when her date found out that that she danced for money. Apparently, he went from being respectful and romantic to bad mouthing her and trying to coerce her into having sex with him. I was angry and embarrassed for my entire gender. It’s been forty-one years since Xaviera Hollander published her memoir, The Happy Hooker: My Own Story, and twenty since Carol Queen broadsided men with Real Live Nude Girl: Chronicles of Sex-Positive Culture. Apparently, a lot of men still haven’t gotten the essential message in those two books.

Maybe they just need to get down and dirty and find out just how hard it is to land a fireman spin wearing high heels. I have. And it has broadened and changed my perspective on women.

After thinking about it, I decided to create a list of reasons that men should, at least once in their lives, try erotic dance.

So here they are. 9 Reasons Why Men Should Learn Erotic Dance:

  1.  You learn that your kindness, humanity, intelligence, and self-worth doesn’t disappear when your clothes hit the floor. The person up on that dance pole might have a PhD in English Literature, or just passed a State Bar Exam.
  2. Pole Burn and Callouses. There is nothing glamorous or sexy about pole burn, callouses, and massaging the cramps out of your legs after dancing in 8″ heels. It’s work.
  3. Mirrors. Yeah. Everywhere you look, you see every flaw you own staring back at you. Dancer’s Life.
  4. Everyday eating, grooming, living. Life is different when you are suddenly worried about how you look naked or almost naked on stage. Beer guts, bald spots, gray hair, and a saggy ass matter. I call it being judged. You get to know what it feels like to be a “sex object.”
  5. Vagina Taxes. Everything you buy for dance costs more because it’s for women. I can tell you from experience that a pair of 8” Pleaser Xtreme heels costs more than my last pair of Nunn Bush casuals. Don’t even get me started on G-Strings or thongs. The smaller it is, the more it costs, and the quality would piss a lot of guys off.
  6. The sound of the crowd. I love the sound of a crowd when I start sliding a layer of clothing down to my knees. It’s power and you are in the driver’s seat.
  7. There are women (and men) out there that just want to see what you have under your last layer. That is all they want to know about you. They don’t think you are good enough to take home to meet the family. No one can tell how big your wallet is when you aren’t wearing pants.
  8. Vulnerability. You don’t need to take a Sexology 101 class to learn that real power can be intimately linked to vulnerability. The best dancers are vulnerable. Don’t mistake vulnerability for weakness.
  9. Finally, women might treat you like a piece of dog poop during a date when they find out that you dance for money. Nothing like having the tables turned to cultivate a little more empathy.

Learning how to do erotic pole dance has changed the way I see myself, the male gender, my fellow pole dancers, my wife, and women in general. It has been an eyeopener. And I am proud to have pole teachers, friends, and fellow dancers that have or are currently working as exotic dancers/strippers. Photos by Nick Altiere Photography

Photos by Nick Altiere Photography
Bob Zamora

Bob Zamora

Bob works full time as a research meteorologist.During his thirty-seven year career he has published his work in several scientific research journals, and participated in weather research experiments all over the United States.He started pole dancing in 2009. Bob has performed in a number of Denver area pole shows and the 2013 Great Midwest Pole Dance Championship. He was a Masters Division finalist in 2013 Colorado Pole Championship.Bob is a student of USPDF 2010 Silver Medalist Estee Zakar. Bob’s pole style is inspired by sexy, artistic pole dancers, and contemporary ballet dancers. In addition to pole dance, Bob also takes ballet classes, and plays ice hockey with his beer league friends.He lives in Westminster, Colorado with his wife Carol.
Bob Zamora

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